The Truth that Sleeps Within
by febronia
Summary: (Xenosaga) Shion's life is full of coincidences, but all is not as it seems. Shion's real memories begin to surface and the truth changes everything. [complete]
1. The Strange and the Familiar

Xenosaga: The Truth that Sleeps Within  
  
A/N:  
this story messes with the plot of Xenosaga quite a lot  
the idea just came to me one day--a sort of what if to explain all the mysteries behind Shion  
although this story is part of a series, it is self-contained (not necessary to read any of the others)  
standard disclaimers apply  
  
  
Chapter One: The Strange and the Familiar  
  
Kukai Foundation. The name struck a dissonant chord in the minds of those who knew very little about the organization. In recent years, the Foundation had shed it's less than wholesome reputation and militant associations to become a high class resort colony freely orbiting Second Miltia. It was, and still remained, an independent state, who's control of the Zohars gave it unprecedented freedom from the political lashings that seemed to touch every other state throughout the Federation.  
  
Yet, somehow, despite the Foundation's respectable associations and legitimate business ventures, it remained a place of much speculation and mystery. It didn't seem possible for a place with so many contradictions to exist. In a time of upheaval and uncertainty, the atmosphere there was optimistic and unapologetic. Pleasantries were plentiful. From the refined and easy-going natures of the residents to the naivety of visiting tourists, Kukai invariably left it's imprint, converting even the most resistant nonbeliever.  
  
Then there were the first-timers. To those who had never before set eyes on such a place, the Foundation seemed like a world on a completely different plane of existence. This was what Jin Uzuki thought when he stepped off the ship with the rest of the passengers. He heard several people around him cry out in delight and excitement and wondered if there wasn't something in the air that made people slightly intoxicated. He did, however, admit that the Foundation wasn't as disreputable as he was led to believe.   
  
Well, well, well, thought Jin, placing his hands on his hips and surveying the sight before him. As far as his eyes could see, the streets were clean and the buildings, well maintained. The artificial environment supported a wide range of plant life and felt extremely believable. What impressed him the most, perhaps, was the massive body of water which surrounded the different city blocks. It was the water that reminded him so much of home.  
  
The last thing that caught Jin's attention, but by no means was a small thing, was an incredibly tall, slender structure to his immediate right that rose gracefully out of the water and glittered impassively in the warm sunlight. Its architecture baffled him. As he stared at it, tilting his head from side to side, someone brushed by him, startling him from his thoughts. It was his sister and she seemed more distracted than usual. Her eyes, too, were fixed on the strange object in front of them.  
  
What is that thing? he asked her, nodding his head towards the object.  
  
replied Shion, is where we're headed.  
  
I see.  
  
Jin smiled and waited. After a long pause he sighed, realizing that no further explanation was coming. It was just like Shion to be tight-lipped about something, assuming everyone else was on the same wavelength as her. He often teased her about being so spaced out all the time and in return for his unwanted observations, he'd receive several caustic remarks about his own goofy expression which never quite hit the target. Jin wasn't a conceited man by nature, but he certainly didn't see himself as _goofy_. Just when he was about to ask her for more information, a bright head of hair appeared at his side, distracting him from his purpose. His hand was immediately snatched away and, once again, he found himself being tugged along without request.  
  
Hey, Momo, slow down a little! What's the hurry, anyway?  
  
Golden eyes laughed back at him. There's no hurry, she said with the most innocent expression on her cherub face.  
  
He rolled his eyes, having long since worked up a resistance to that look. Whatever you say, little one, but let's not leave Shion behind, all right? He bent his head towards the girl in a conspiratory way before saying his next words loud enough for his sister to hear. Her being so easily confused and all. We don't want to lose her along the way, now do we?  
  
The little girl giggled and the two looked back at Shion expecting an outraged reply, but Jin's words had fallen on deaf ears. Shion was still standing where they left her with a faraway look in her eyes. Jin frowned and pulled Momo aside.  
  
Notice anything weird with that one? he asked her.  
  
Momo turned her head and looked long and hard at the woman she had come to regard as mother. After a while, she smiled and faced the man who's hand she held rather possessively.  
  
I don't notice anything _unusual_, she replied.  
  
Hmm, somehow that doesn't make me feel any better, said Jin, straightening to his full height. Hey, Shion! he hollered trying to gain her attention. Her head swiveled in their direction and wide green eyes flared momentarily with embarrassment.  
  
came the reply.  
  
Jin raised both eyebrows at Momo as if to say see what I mean and the two continued on their way as Shion ran up behind them. Out of the corner of his eye, Jin could see his sister's profile and the way her lips tugged down at the corners made his brow knit with worry. He told himself he would have to keep a closer eye on Shion, but he knew that whatever was bothering her would remain her own business until she chose to share it with him. She had always been so stubborn and independent. He cursed and admired that in her, but sometimes he wished he could understand her better.  
  
Ever since Shion had gone to work for Vector, Jin felt as if he was losing more and more of his sister. It was that damn project she was working on, the one that was highly classified but everyone seemed to know about. Jin could surmise nothing from his sister's infrequent communications except that whatever she was dealing with was extremely dangerous. His morbid imagination always came up with the worst scenarios.  
  
With a stab of guilt, Jin remembered an incident that happened two years ago. When Kevin died, the Shion that was open and trusting died along with him. It was bad enough that Jin was so far away when it happened, but the fact that he didn't even find out about it until much later bothered him deeply. The death of one's parents should be enough trauma anyone should have to suffer in a lifetime, but Shion... Shion had the misfortune to be surrounded by tragedy. Jin was amazed that she hadn't drowned in all that misery long ago. It was a testament to her strength and her spirit.  
  
As the three of them approached the shuttle area, they looked like a happy family, standing so close together and giving one another protective glances every now and then. It made onlookers envious, but no one suspected how frail their happiness was, or how unfamiliar their ties were.  
  
They were, in essence, just two estranged siblings with their mechanical pet. Jin knew this as plainly as day, but he felt underneath the surface, there was a deeper connection, deeper even than what was familiar and easy. Something desperately crying out to be acknowledged. He sensed it when he looked from Shion to Momo and back again. Whatever this thing he sensed was, he felt an overpowering need to protect it. Perhaps it was something as archaic as the male in him wanting to keep safe the women in his life. Or maybe it was something more, something none of them were yet prepared to face.  
  
  
=====  
Gaignun makes an appearance in the next chapter


	2. Useful Data

Chapter Two: Useful Data  
  
Gaignun Kukai, Director of the Kukai Foundation and heir to the Soze Kukai fortune stood by the window, looking out across the small empire that was his. Sometimes he would smile and shake his head, marvelling at the sheer extravagance of such a fate. Other times he wished for a simpler life, but whatever the mood, Gaignun was aware of how easily his world could crumble. This world that was so much like a dream to visiting tourists was also very much a dream to the man who controlled it. He was grateful for every moment knowing that, like a dream, one must eventually wake up.  
  
For now, the Durandal slept soundly in the bay nearby, but Gaignun felt the future was fast approaching when its metallic peak would once again descend and disappear into the void, into whatever dangers awaited out there in space. Rubedo was planning to do something drastic and in Gaignun's mind, drastic meant _crazy_. Their conversation two weeks ago was short, but it had given him enough proof. He had tried to keep an eye on his other self, but the stubborn fool persisted in jumping into the fire at every opportunity.   
  
Presently, Rubedo was recovering from a near fatal run-in with local pirates. It angered Gaignun when the only thing Rubedo could say after returning from the scuffle was that he needed a new A.G.W.S. He needed more than that, thought Gaignun, when he visited Rubedo in the infirmary. He had seriously contemplated knocking some sense into the red-head.  
  
And then, there was the whole aging thing.  
  
Gaignun closed his eyes and took a few long breaths to clear his thoughts. He'd deal with that later, he told himself. Right now, there was another problem. Well, not so much a problem but a minor nuisance. That woman was here and she had brought the girl with her. He could hear Rubedo's laugh right now accusing him of being overly cautious, but it wasn't that. Gaignun's instincts were never wrong. There was something not quite right about that woman.  
  
Just then, as if by some ominous cue, his secretary buzzed with a message that someone was here to see him. Gaignun's eye brows rose a good inch when he heard who it was. He told his secretary to let her in and faced the door, preparing himself... for what, exactly, he didn't know.  
  
The door to his office slid silently open and she entered, looking as young and fresh as he remembered her. She was out of uniform, dressed modestly in a deep blue dress with yellow trimmings. Her hair was loose and perfectly straight, its auburn colour so unlike Rubedo's fiery red.  
  
At first, she appeared not to see him. Her eyes looked around the large office, catching on a bright or unusual object every now and then before finally settling on his equally impassive form. He had been standing so still that he must have seemed like a piece of furniture to her. He put aside any suspicious feelings he had and walked around the desk to extend his hand in greeting.  
  
Like the first time, her eyes darted nervously to the branded mark in the palm of his hand. It was a fleeting look, almost imperceptible, but very little escaped Gaignun's notice. He chose not to address the question in her eyes, wondering how much of the answers she had already pieced together on her own.  
  
Rubedo said very little after returning from Proto Merkabah. It seemed as if some sort of pact had been made between all who were involved, a silent understanding that whatever secrets they discovered onboard the monstrosity of a creation would go down with it. All those dark little secrets... fallen and sunk into the ocean. Lost forever.  
  
Gaignun's eyes closely examined the woman in front of him, trying to glean every bit of information that he could from her expression. The smile that he gave her was pleasant, harmless, but the eyes that watched her were the shrewd eyes of a hawk.  
  
Shion, what a pleasant surprise. How have you been? he asked, shaking her hand.  
  
I'm doing well, she answered with a warmth that came easily. I'm so glad to see the Foundation back on it's feet again. That Gnosis attack was no trifling matter. She let go of his hand and stood back, taking in a wide appraisal of his office. I've never seen so many antiques, she exclaimed. I hardly know what half this stuff is.  
  
Gaignun found himself smiling in amusement. He strode over to the nearest wall where her attention had fallen on a pair of rusty metal gears. The truth is, he replied, picking them up and turning them around in his hands, sometimes, I don't quite know myself.  
  
Her laughter was refreshing and utterly charming. The light in her green eyes danced. Those large eyes of hers, so like a child's. They seemed incapable of deceit. Yet, the uneasiness in Gaignun's stomach did not lessen. _Just because she can't tell a lie, doesn't make her trustworthy. She works for Vector, after all._  
  
Well, they all worked for Vector in one way or another, he thought, the irony not lost on him. _We're all pawns in some elaborate game._ His thoughts focused on the woman standing before him and he found himself relenting, just a little. She didn't seem to realize what kind of involvement either of them had in any conspiracy. She only seemed concerned with her small corner of the world.  
  
As he watched her walk about the office, laying a hand on the various antique pieces he had collected over the years, her demeanor suddenly changed from shy to self-assured and he had an inkling of how someone as young and inexperienced as her could become the head of Vector's most top secret project. She turned to face him with a business-like attitude, clasping her hands behind her back and walked over to stand directly in front of him.  
  
I'm sure you're wondering what brings me here, she said.  
  
The thought did cross my mind, he replied, casually.  
  
I have a favour to ask.  
  
Gaignun remained silent and politely detached, unwilling to encourage her further.  
  
It's quite a huge favour and I'm ashamed to ask, but I don't know what else to do and well, she _does_ like it here and Jr.'s here so she won't be lonely--  
  
His eyes narrowed, pinning her to the spot. Are you asking what I think you're asking?  
  
She blushed profusely and ducked her head in embarrassment.  
  
I know you have enough to deal with already without having to watch out for a girl like Momo, but I don't feel safe leaving her anywhere else. And well, I thought... I thought you would understand her situation, since the Foundation has been a sort of refuge for people like her.  
  
_Not quite like her_, thought Gaignun dryly.   
  
What about her mother?  
  
Juli Mizrahi?  
  
Gaignun nodded. A little too forcefully.   
  
Shion looked away, her eyes strangely bright. She... she doesn't want her.  
  
Somehow, Gaignun wasn't surprised.  
  
And you? he asked more softly.  
  
she replied, startled. I... I can't.  
  
Can't or won't?  
  
He knew he was being harsh, but he had to know the circumstances. Shion sighed and her shoulders slumped forward. She could not deny the accusation in his simple question.  
  
I have... responsibilities. I've already taken off too much time from work. Who knows what kind of damage they're doing to KOS-MOS while I've been gone. If it weren't for my obligations to Vector, I would take Momo in a heart beat. But...  
  
I see, said Gaignun, understanding what she could not bear to say. You already have one mechanical girl to take care of, taking in another would be asking too much of anyone.  
  
It's not like that-- she began, but abruptly cut herself off. A dark shadow had fallen across her pretty features. I _wish_ it wasn't like that, I really do. They're both important to me and I don't want to choose between them, but Momo... at least, Momo has _somebody_. KOS-MOS doesn't have anyone. If I'm not around, I'm afraid of what she'll become. I'm afraid of what they'll make her _into_.   
  
Suddenly, the guilt was replaced by a sense of urgency.  
  
That's why I have to get back right away. If Momo were here, she wouldn't be alone and Jr. would protect her. My brother is close by, too, and he's already promised to be there if she ever needs him. Please, she said, shutting her eyes tight and turning away. I don't know what else to do.  
  
And how does Momo feel about this?  
  
Shion faced him, a half smile on her lips.  
  
She... understands. She always does.  
  
Gaignun thought momentarily that he had never been this close to her before. He had never been close enough to notice how soulful those eyes were. There was so much pain locked away. It made him feel sorry for her and very wrong to question her motives.  
  
He sighed and crossed his arms in front of him, looking off into the corner and wondering why he was even considering doing something that was so _unlike_ him. He didn't have anything to gain by taking the girl in, and almost everything to lose. That girl was trouble for whoever took responsibility for her. He had his hands full running the Foundation and dealing with U-TIC and, of course, he had his own _child_ to watch over.  
  
He didn't owe Shion anything.  
  
But, there was that nagging feeling again, telling him not to ignore her. Her idealism was clearly written on her face, making him question the strength of his own beliefs. All he had ever known were harsh truths and every decision he had made in his life had been cut-and-dry. It was cynicism that prevailed in his world. Her world was not so simple, but it was in her world that real truths existed.  
  
The laws of the universe would bend differently for someone like her. Physical strength and intelligence were valuable assets, but Shion's true strength was something else, something intangible, and because of this it was far more powerful. In her world, the nonexistent became real by sheer will. _Her will._ Somehow, Gaignun believed, Shion would find a way to make that android of hers human, even if she had to squeeze the life from her very own soul.   
  
Was that the power he sensed in her? Could this woman make dreams a reality? Gaignun's lips quirked at the thought. He was suddenly very curious to find out.  
  
All right, he said solemnly, feeling the weight of his words. I'll take care of the girl for you.  
  
Shion's eyes lit up with gratitude. Gaignun's smile was predatory. Perhaps, by gaining her trust, the secrets that laid behind those eyes would be revealed in time, and then he would see what possible way he could use the knowledge to his advantage.  
  
she cried, wanting so much to throw her arms around him, but quickly sobered and turned shy again. Thank you. She clasped her hands over her heart, as if making a pledge. I will never forget this.  
  
Little did Shion know, it was_ her_ who was doing _him_ the favour. He had already gathered some important details about her, observations about her weaknesses and her strengths. Her devotion to the android and the girl was admirable, even if it was unusual. Gaignun thought with some disdain, the things she loved so dearly would either destroy her in the end or they would be her salvation. It was the same with all obsessions.   
  
Shion seemed oblivious to the looks that Gaignun cast her way. She was already thinking of the troubles that awaited her back at Vector. It had been nearly three months since she was assigned to the Woglinde. Three months since KOS-MOS unexpectedly woke up and turned her life upside down. In that short time, she survived one dangerous encounter after another, saw and did things which should have not been possible, and discovered the tenuous link that existed between herself and those around her. Both human and machine. And yet, Nephilim's words echoed grievously in her mind.  
  
_I wanted you to face your pasts, but I see... you are not ready yet.  
_  
Shion didn't think she would ever be ready for what Nephilim had planned. Every time she found herself brooding over the matter, the question always came up... _why me?_  
  
_I'm just Shion. Plain, old Shion. Nothing special about me._  
  
Gaignun assured Shion that he would take the best care of Momo and told her he would make the necessary arrangements immediately. When he showed her to the door, it appeared as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. The gratitude she felt shone through her eyes... eyes that seemed to promise strange and wonderful secrets.  
  
_Shion, what is it that defines you?_  
  
His highly evolved instincts told him that she was somehow an important piece of the puzzle, even if his eyes dismissed her as insignificant. Gaignun smiled darkly as he watched her walk out of his office, satisfied with the knowledge he had unexpectedly received. He bowed his head as she gave one last wave before stepping onto the elevator.  
  
_May you find the answers you're looking for._  
  
  
  
=====  
A/N:_  
_this chapter was mainly to move Momo from Shion's custody to Gaignun's custody and to show that Gaignun senses something very weird about Shion  
I wrote Gaignun as a shady character--doesn't mean I think he's a bad guy. I just think he's creepy and manipulative  
next up: Shion returns to Vector (who's in this chapter? Allen/KOS-MOS/Nephilim, albeit briefly)  
  



	3. Totality

Chapter Three: Totality  
  
The sound of muffled giggles brought Allen's attention back to the monitor in front of him. He pressed his lips together as a sullen look settled on his features. It had been like this all morning. He was pretending not to watch the time and they were pretending not to notice that he was watching the time. Allen could feel their eyes burrowing into the back of his head, but he was determined to ignore them.  
  
For a while he preoccupied himself with organizing the data tablets on his desktop, but his eyes inevitably strayed towards the clock, causing another round of giggles to erupt. Sighing wearily, he stood, mumbled something about taking a break and strode out of the room with as much dignity as he could muster. As soon as he stepped out the door the room exploded with laughter.  
  
Growling, Allen spun on his heel, wanting to give them a piece of his mind. Instead, he nearly got his nose pinched between the closing doors. He groaned inwardly and rubbed his nose before stalking angrily down the corridor.   
  
It was starting already, he thought, miserably. _Chief hasn't even set one foot onboard yet and I'm falling to pieces. I'll be falling off chairs and walking into walls next._  
  
He stopped in front of the elevator and gave a decided nod. I'm going to go about my day as usual, he told himself as the doors opened. He stepped inside and nodded to himself again. I'm _not_ going to be there the moment she gets off that ship. I'm _not_ going to go running to her like... like some _puppy_.  
  
He grunted and looked around as if daring anyone to argue, but he found himself very much alone and suddenly feeling very ridiculous. The computer chirped then, prompting him for a destination. After a lengthy pause, Allen's shoulders drooped and he replied with a heavy sigh.  
  
Take me to the Dock.  
  


*****  


  
Allen! You didn't have to welcome me back, cried Shion as she walked up to him. She had seen him from across the walkway as soon as she stepped off the ship. He was hard to miss, being the only person waiting at the gate. Shion thought he seemed slightly embarrassed to be there which made his gesture all the more endearing.  
  
A faint blush crept up his face in response to her words. I know, he replied. I wanted to be here. They stared at one another awkwardly until he remembered the flowers hidden behind his back which he then whipped out, causing her to jump in surprise.  
  
Uh, these are for you, he said dumbly.  
  
Shion's face lit up as she accepted the bouquet. They're beautiful! You really didn't have to do all this.  
  
Allen cleared his throat noisily and shrugged. He wasn't about to tell her that he had been waiting for her arrival all morning or that he barely slept a wink all night. He certainly wasn't going to mention the fact that he was supposed to be working at the moment. He decided to change the topic.  
  
Um, so, Chief, how was your trip?  
  
Much too long, she answered, smiling faintly.  
  
I guess you're pretty tired. I'll walk you to your room, then, he offered, pleased to be of any service.   
  
He stooped to pick up her suitcase and they started down the platform. Shion was content to walk beside him in silence with her nose in the bouquet. Allen watched her out of the corner of his eye, noting that she seemed almost carefree. It had been a long time since he had seen her like this. He thought it was an encouraging sign. Perhaps, Shion was finally comfortable enough with him to open up.  
  
I guess everything went well with Momo?  
  
Her brow crinkled and the peaceful expression on her face vanished. Allen mentally berated himself for saying the wrong thing and looked away, sensing a wall come up between them. He'd gotten to know that wall very well over the years. He hated that wall.   
  
I'm sorry, he began, not entirely sure why he was apologizing.  
  
What for?, she asked in confusion.  
  
It was just... you seemed upset...  
  
Did I? she wondered aloud. She looked at him sideways and laughed self-consciously. I must have been lost in thought. I didn't mean to make you think it was something you said.  
  
Somehow, he didn't feel any better. It was obvious to Allen that Shion had a lot on her mind, but what bothered him the most was that she would not unburden any of those worries on to him. They were friends, weren't they? _Good_ friends. Although he wanted it to be more, he wasn't about to rush into anything. Shion's last relationship had ended tragically and the last thing Allen wanted was to bring up painful memories. He was doomed, he realized, doomed forever to remain in the shadow of a dead man.  
  
Momo is happy, Shion said suddenly, startling Allen from his morbid thoughts. She's where she wants to be. I expected Gaignun to be more difficult, but he was very understanding. I didn't know what he was thinking half the time. He's just so different from Jr., but everything worked out fine.  
  
I'm glad.  
  
It was hard saying good bye.  
  
You miss her already?  
  
Shion nodded, smiling wistfully at a memory.  
  
She wasn't at all sad when I left. Instead of crying, she gave me a hug and told me she'd be all right. Imagine that, the child having to reassure the adult. But I don't suppose she's really a child, Shion said, her words fading off as she thought about Momo.  
  
Allen walked beside her in silence, letting her sift through whatever thoughts were in her head. He could almost see the gears turning. She was thinking about something complex. He doubted she was even aware of it. He'd seen her go into these deep, meditative pauses every now and then when she was working on a problem in the lab. Almost always, she would arrive at an ingenious solution that was intuitive to her but illogical to everyone else.  
  
Allen smiled fondly at her, remembering the first time he met her. He had mistaken her for one of the lab technicians and had given her some data to analyze. Shion had promptly handed him back the tablet plus an entire pile sitting on the table next to her. He would never forget her next words... _Allen Ridgeley, right? Listen, Allen, I'm not your subordinate. You can analyze that data yourself and if you try anything like that in the future, analyzing data is _all_ you'll be doing._   
  
No, he would not forget those words. He still felt the heat of embarrassment when he thought of them. Allen had been on his best behaviour after that, hoping to make up for his mistake. It was then that he started calling her by her title. Even now, after all these years, he found it hard to call her by her name.  
  
Shion said, stirring him from his reverie. how is KOS-MOS?  
  
She's fine, he replied, adding more cheerfully, I've been keeping her entertained, but we don't seem to have the same sense of humour.  
  
Shion smiled, picturing Allen telling bad jokes and KOS-MOS staring blankly at him.   
  
I'm glad you were here to watch over her, Shion began. I really hated to leave her behind.  
  
Allen raised an eyebrow at her. She's a big girl, you know. It's not like anyone can push her around.  
  
I know, but I still worry. There's things about KOS-MOS that can't be explained. I can't even begin to figure out how...  
  
It was a mystery, indeed. The KOS-MOS they designed and the KOS-MOS they built were two very different beings.  
  
I'm supposed to know everything about her... I don't like surprises, Allen.  
  
He nodded. He didn't like surprises either. At least not the lethal kinds.  
  
Why don't you stop by the lab later? I'll let KOS-MOS know you're back. She'll be happy to see you.  
  
I think I will. Thanks, Allen.  
  
Sure, no problem, Chief.  
  
Shion's mood lightened somewhat at the thought of seeing KOS-MOS again. Everyone would think her silly if they knew how she felt about the android. Everyone except, perhaps, Kevin. Kevin would understand. He wouldn't laugh if she told him that she thought of KOS-MOS as a friend. A very dear friend. No one would understand how that was possible, except someone who spent as much time with KOS-MOS as she did.  
  
Shion shook herself from her thoughts, unwilling to linger on the past. She didn't allow herself to think of Kevin often, or for very long. Nothing good ever came of dwelling on those memories. They were like nightmares, something not real. They were too horrible to be real. There was something sinister about those memories that Shion refused to recognize. Whenever her thoughts strayed down that path, she would give herself a shake and steer them right around before they got too far. _What is at the end of the road?_ she wondered briefly. _What is down there that I don't want to see?_  
  


*****  


  
When they finally arrived at Shion's room, she invited Allen in for tea, but he declined, setting down her suitcase inside the door and hurrying on his way. In truth, he wanted to spend more time with her, but he had to get back to work. His was running suspiciously long and he was sure tongues were wagging back at the lab.  
  
He groaned as he looked over his shoulder at her closing door. As usual, his timing was bad. Would there ever be a right time, he wondered. He was glad he was a patient man, although, lately he felt as if someone was having a laugh at his expense and it was become wearisome.  
  
When Allen returned to the lab, he knew the day would be a long and torturous one. Everyone seemed to know where he had been. He hung his head and buried himself in work, resenting the fact that everyone seemed so interested in his personal life, or lack thereof. Even KOS-MOS noticed that people were acting strange. Allen explained that Shion was back, to which the android replied, I still do not understand what that has to do with you, Allen. He winced and let out a long breath before answering. I don't understand, either, he agreed dryly, contemplating how he could incorporate a sensitivity subroutine into her programming. The thought made him grin just a little.  
  
By the way, KOS-MOS, he said, getting up from his chair, She'll probably stop by to see how you are. I think she missed you.  
  
KOS-MOS turned her head to look at him as he walked back and forth from her stasis pod to the monitoring station. Allen could always tell when she was looking at him. The hairs on the back of his neck would stand on end. He knew she was scanning his reactions, analyzing his behaviour the way she was programmed, but sometimes, it felt as if she was looking straight through him.  
  
You... missed her, Allen? she asked suddenly. He turned around and faced her, startled by her question.  
  
What makes you think that? he asked, cautiously. Generally speaking, he clarified before she listed every microscopic detail of his biological make up.  
  
Generally speaking, she began, blinking as if she knew he was mocking her and chose to ignore it. I have noticed a change in your behaviour patterns when Shion is absent. She paused, thinking of her words carefully. You... prefer to be alone instead of seeking the company of others. I have also observed that you smile less and sigh a lot. My databanks list these symptoms as indicative of mild depression.  
  
Allen's lips twisted into a frown.  
  
Would you like a complete analysis of your--  
  
Thanks, but that won't be necessary, he groaned, cutting her off. He sat down in his chair with a thud and propped his chin up in his hand, annoyed that he was like an open book to everyone except Shion. KOS-MOS, on the other hand, lay quietly in her pod, as unreadable as always.   
  
He decided he had nothing more to lose by inviting more discussion about the subject and admitted that he did miss Shion. Things just aren't as lively without her, he confessed. There just isn't anybody quite like the Chief. She has a way with people. Not just people... she has a way with everything... Allen stopped himself, realizing how vague and silly he sounded. He looked sheepishly over at KOS-MOS and found her watching him intently. What about you, KOS-MOS? he asked, Didn't you miss the Chief?  
  
KOS-MOS thought about his question for a long time, blinking emotionlessly at him as if waiting for him to speak first.  
  
I do not have the capacity to feel such emotions, came the reply.  
  
Allen knew it was true, but he still found it hard to believe that KOS-MOS didn't feel one way or the other about the person who was closest to her. Despite her unemotional responses, there was something very human about KOS-MOS. Maybe, it was Shion's influence, Allen thought. _Maybe it was only because Shion treated her like she was real that we all started thinking of her that way.  
_  
He looked at the time and rubbed his temples wearily. Everyone had already left for the day. He knew Shion wouldn't drop by with the lab full of people, so he stayed behind hoping to see her, but it was late and he was starting to wonder if she would ever come.  
  
He stood and stretched, dimming the lights on his way out. KOS-MOS lay peacefully in her stasis pod, oblivious to his disappointment. Her eyes were closed now, but he knew she was awake. She never slept, but Allen still wished her sweet dreams each night before leaving.  
  
The ghostly figure of a little girl stood next to KOS-MOS, glancing briefly at Allen as he walked out the door. She smiled patiently and touched a finger to the tip of KOS-MOS' nose. Red eyes fluttered open and stared at the girl before closing once again.  
  
_Sweet dreams, KOS-MOS._  
  


*****  


  
The playground was deserted. It was almost time for supper and all the children had gone home. Shion sat on the swing, looking down at her feet as she dragged them across the dirt. She was thinking of something. Something that was missing, but she couldn't remember what it was.   
  
As she stared at the ground, a shadow stretched out before her. Someone was approaching. Shion pressed her glasses up on her nose and kicked at the ground, letting her feet dangle in the air as she swung back and forth. Whoever it was had stopped next to the swings, but had said nothing. Shion lifted her head and gasped, recognizing the blue hair of her silent visitor.  
  
KOS-MOS' back was facing her and she was watching the sunset. She seemed at peace. Shion felt her lips move as several questions sprang to mind, but the sound would not escape. As if sensing her distress, KOS-MOS turned to look over her shoulder at Shion. Startling blue eyes met green ones. Shion slowly smiled and got to her feet.  
  
You must accept the entirety of your memories, came a familiar voice.  
  
Both Shion and KOS-MOS turned to look at the girl who had appeared behind them.  
  
Shion whispered. You said that once before. I don't know what you mean... why is KOS-MOS here?  
  
She is a part of you, Shion, the way you are a part of those around you, but you share a connection with her that very few will ever understand. She is the answer you have been looking for; and you, in turn, are her lifeline.  
  
  
  
Shion, this place, said KOS-MOS. We have been here before.  
  
Shion nodded.  
  
Yet, it is not... complete.  
  
  
  
We must enter...  
  
KOS-MOS turned to look at the building beside them. Shion's eyes followed. She shivered involuntarily and hugged herself.  
  
I don't want to go, she said, shaking her head.  
  
You must, interrupted Nephilim. You must see for yourself what you have lost... the memory of that day.  
  
I already know what's in there and I don't want to see, Shion argued.  
  
Nephilim smiled sadly.  
  
When you were given the chance before, you refused to look beyond your fear. You did not see everything. You must look again. It is the key that will unlock your past. Without this moment, you are incomplete.  
  
Shion looked back and forth between KOS-MOS and Nephilim. Both of them seemed to be waiting on her for an answer and Shion knew there was really only one choice. They had to go inside. She had to relive that horrible moment. The thought made her gut twist into knots.  
  
All right, she sighed, squaring her shoulders and walking away. I'll go, but I won't like it.  
  
Nephilim nodded at KOS-MOS before disappearing.  
  
_Let Shion be your guide._  
  
Shion was already half way across the playground. KOS-MOS turned to face the sunset one last time before following her into the hospital.  
  
  
=====  
A/N  
sorry about not updating... been sick and busy, but hopefully things will be back on track now  
next chapter: inside the hospital... the dreaded Gnosis attack that killed Shion's parents... what really happened?  



	4. The Key

Chapter Four: The Key  
  
The building was empty. A strange calm had settled in every corner. What light was available filtered in through half-covered windows making it difficult for Shion to judge her surroundings. She moved through the dark halls slowly, letting instinct guide her and being careful not to disturb what may be lurking in the shadows. But neither the shadows nor the silence could urge her forward any faster.  
  
Shion paused as she came upon a sign. The words Acute Neurosis Treatment Facility hung from the ceiling. The facility had been the last resort for numerous families like hers, but the name was misleading. Very few people, if any at all, received treatment. In all honesty, the facility was where they transferred patients who were beyond recovery, transferred for observation and study. It was where patients spent the remainder of their days. In quiet solitude. The facility was nothing more than a mausoleum of breathing corpses. It was a hard truth that her father had never accepted. Her mother, although technically alive, was as good as dead.  
  
She passed beneath the sign and turned left. Whispers of the past rose up from the shadows and swirled around her. She could remember, with absolute clarity, holding her father's hand and looking up at him as he led her through the halls. He seemed impossibly tall to her. Tall and proud. But while she could remember the touch of his hand, the details of his face were a blur. She did, however, recall that he had kind eyes. They were kind but sad, even when he smiled. The warmth never seemed to reach those eyes.   
  
Voices echoed all around, sudden and incoherent. And then silence. A sound drifted towards her... the laughter of a child, delicate and clear like the tinkling of bells. A distant memory floated up from the depths of nurses smiling sadly as father and daughter passed by. They were heading towards the room at the end of the hall. A dull ache began to throb in Shion's chest. She placed a hand over her heart and paused, trying to still the turmoil of emotions stirring inside.  
  
Something flitted past her ear causing her to jump. She raised her eyes as the ghost of something large trailed past her line of sight and faded. Shion took a step back and froze. She couldn't run. It was too late for running. Something compelled her to move forward, but she fought her steps the entire way.  
  
A short distance behind stood KOS-MOS, watching Shion's struggle with infinite patience. There was no hint in the android's eyes, no indication of whether she understood what she was witnessing, but her expression seemed to soften just a little.  
  
This is it, whispered Shion, breathlessly. They had arrived at the end of the hall and were standing in front of an ordinary looking door. Shion cringed away from it as if she were standing in front of an evil presence.  
  
This was my mother's room. This was where she stayed.  
  
A dark look entered her eyes. She frowned, shaking her head to clear her thoughts.  
  
It's only a dream, she said. Only a dream.  
  
Shion took a shaky breath and leaned forward.  
  
The door slid open in response and a bright light spilled forth, swallowing everything up.  
  


*****  


  
Shion lowered the hand that was shielding her eyes to find herself in the middle of the room. The first thing she noticed was the silence. It was a peaceful, lonely kind of silence that Shion recognized instantly. Most of her nights felt like this, quiet and empty, but she was too stubborn to admit there was something missing in her life.   
  
Light poured in through large windows, bathing the walls in orange and red. The room was otherwise devoid of warmth. Bodies lay beneath clean white sheets, asleep or sedated. Shion didn't have the courage to take a closer look. The thought of seeing another glassy eyed stare gave her chills. By the bed in the far corner sat a man. Although his back was turned, she knew him immediately.   
  
_Daddy_.   
  
As she moved closer, she saw a girl perched on his knee. Shion almost didn't recognize herself. Had she really been that young? She had never thought of herself as naive, but as she watched herself, it was hard not to wince. There was something annoyingly innocent about the expression on that girl's face.  
  
Shion's eyes shifted to the woman lying in bed. The face of her mother was pale and hard. It was a face that had lost its youthfulness long ago. The skin was pulled taut over protruding bones, smooth and white like a porcelain mask, but there was no beauty in her features. All trace of life had faded. All that was warm and human.  
  
Shion frowned as she saw her mother's brow crease. It seemed that her mother could not find peace even in sleep. In the last six months, her illness had gone from severe to worse. The strange disease that had ravished her mind was now destroying her body. The woman that lay before them was nothing more than a shell. Her father refused to believe there was nothing more they could do. And so, they came and sat and waited, hoping, perhaps, for a miracle.  
  
A foolish hope, thought Shion, bitterly.  
  
The sound of her father's whispers echoed loudly in the silence of the room. Shion's eyes darted towards his slumped figure. _He looks so tired_. Her heart broke at the sight of him. The little girl on his lap stirred and buried her face in his collar.  
  
When she wakes up, will she remember me, daddy? she said, sleepily.  
  
Her father stiffened. He placed an arm around her, tucking her close to his side.  
  
  
  
Only silence answered her. It was as if he was paralyzed.  
  
Shion's hand reached towards him, wanting to comfort him. She wanted to tell him that everything would be all right, but she knew it was a lie.   
  
Nothing was all right after that day.   
  
She turned away from the scene, unable to bear the sadness in her father's eyes. The window caught her attention at that moment. She walked over and looked down at the property next door. A look of pure disgust entered her eyes. _The Song. Who would have guessed that it was right there, under their noses the whole time?  
_  
Behind her, the door slid open and a nurse entered. Shion paid very little attention to the woman until she came to stand at the foot of her mother's bed.  
  
Why does she just stand there? wondered Shion, turning her head slightly to look at the woman. Her eyes widened.  
  
_Febronia._  
  
Her mouth opened, but she closed it without speaking.  
  
_No, this is just a memory. She can't hear or see me._  
  
Still, Shion felt a ridiculous urge to warn the Realian, as if she could change the future by changing the events that were unfolding now.  
  
_Febronia, you need to get out of here._  
  
They _all_ had to get out, before...  
  
She didn't allow herself to finish the thought.  
  
Shion watched the little girl lift her head from her father's shoulder to peek at the Realian. Febronia smiled. The little girl returned her smile.  
  
I hate to disturb you, Mr. Uzuki, but visiting hours are almost over.  
  
Just a while longer, said her father without lifting his head.  
  
Febronia smiled.  
  
A strange look passed between her and the little girl.  
  
_She knows me_..._ from somewhere else, but where?_  
  
Shion stiffened as whispers filled the room.  
  
The patients.  
  
They were awake.  
  
No, not awake.  
  
But their lips were moving.  
  
All of them, at once. Muttering something too quiet to hear. Words that were meaningless, but leaving a chill in the hearts of the shocked witnesses.   
  
Shion watched her father jump to his feet, nearly knocking his chair backwards. He clutched his daughter to him as if preparing to flee. His eyes were transfixed on his wife's pale face and her lips which seemed to be moving by the will of some mysterious force.  
  
And the sea gave up the dead which were in it...  
  
Shion turned to stare at Febronia who had just spoken. She was still standing at the foot of the bed, although her thoughts seemed to be elsewhere.  
  
That is what they are saying, explained the Realian, to no one in particular.  
  
The whispers continued around them, still as quiet as before, but now Shion could also hear the words...  
  
_And the sea gave up the dead which were in it.   
  
Death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them.  
  
And they were judged every man according to their works.  
  
And whosoever was not found written in the Book of Life was cast into the lake of fire._   
  
Shion's eyes widened. Who's words were these? They were ghastly. She strained her ears to hear the rest of the mad ramblings, but caught nothing more except one last phrase which she uttered along with Febronia.  
  
Rejoice, all ye. The time for feasting has come.  
  
The whispers of the possessed abruptly died off.  
  
A slight pressure began building in her ear. A sound penetrated her consciousness that was neither shrill or loud, yet was completely unsettling and unavoidable. While she stood in the middle of the room, frozen in denial, the sound grew steadily in volume and intensity.  
  
_No._   
  
Shion's fingers dug into the palms of her hands. She glanced nervously at Febronia, but if the Realian heard the Song, she didn't show it.  
  
  
  
Shion's head swiveled to the corner. She watched the little girl look around the room.  
  
I hear something... it sounds... like a song...  
  
The sound had reached full volume now. The little girl pressed her hands over her ears, looking frantically at her father.  
  
What is it, Shion?  
  
_It's starting.  
  
_  
_  
Daddy, run. Get out of here!_  
  
Her father turned to Febronia. The Realian was no longer smiling. He glanced back at his daughter and frowned.  
  
What is it? he demanded.  
  
Something is... wrong, Febronia answered, her brow furrowing in confusion.  
  
There was a commotion outside. A scream pierced through the air. Her father set down the little girl next to Febronia and went to the window. His face blanched and he staggered backwards.  
  
What is happening out there? he gasped. He turned to the Realian, who was now staring blindly at the door.  
  
Shion's knees began to shake. She hugged herself and bowed her head wanting to cry out of pure frustration, but the tears would not come. Someone walked past her. Shion's head snapped up.  
  
  
  
Stay here, Shion.  
  
Where are you going?  
  
I'll be back shortly. Stay here with the nurse.  
  
When he was gone, the little girl seemed to crumble.  
  
Don't be afraid, Shion.  
  
The little girl looked at the nurse, her doll like features twisting into a frown.  
  
I don't understand.  
  
Don't be afraid, the Realian repeated. Your father will protect you.  
  
Febronia's smile was kind and patient.  
  
He promised to always take care of you.  
  
The little girl shook her head, confused. The Realian's words made no sense to her and they didn't make sense to Shion.  
  
_Why would daddy promise otherwise?  
  
_Of course he would take care of her. He was her father.  
  
Before Febronia could reveal more, the door opened and her father rushed in, his eyes full of concern.  
  
he said, then paused and glanced nervously at her mother's unconscious form. He seemed torn between the two of them.  
  
The little girl ran into his arms.  
  
he whispered, his eyes filling with emotion, but a decision was made and the moment of weakness quickly passed. He knelt in front of her and took her shoulders in his hands. Listen to me, Shion, and listen carefully. You must go. You must leave now.  
  
But, daddy--  
  
There's no time. I don't know what is happening, but you can't stay here. You have to go. He glanced at the Realian and nodded. Febronia will take you somewhere safe.  
  
I want to stay with you! cried the little girl.  
  
No, Shion. You can't. You're too important.  
  
Come with me, she whined. Don't leave me alone!  
  
Her father's resolve nearly shattered then, but he hardened himself against her cries and stood, turning around to look at his wife.  
  
Your mother... needs me. I can't leave her here unprotected.  
  
Shion watched the scene feeling bile rise in her throat. Had this really happened? Had he chosen her mother over her? She didn't remember. She didn't _want_ to remember.  
  
I needed you, too, daddy, she thought, feeling the tears spilling down her cheeks.  
  
The sound of screams were just outside their door.  
  
Shion froze. A chill went down her spine. She kept her eyes averted, staring at the sky outside the window. The sun had disappeared completely beneath the horizon now, but traces of red still lingered in the growing darkness. Red that streaked the sky like blood.  
  
As the last rays of light faded, something came through the walls.  
  
It was too late now. Too late for the little girl to leave. Too late for Febronia to take her someplace safe. It was too late.  
  


*****  


  
The room was cloaked in a shroud of silence. Shion could hear the sound of her father's breathing. There was a sudden scuffle. Something tipped over and clattered. A soft thud, next. Then, the sound of something heavy being dragged along the floor. Shion clamped her hands over her ears as a sickening wet sound filled the room.  
  
Somebody was crying.  
  
A muffled shriek.  
  
Shion! Get back!  
  
Her father.  
  
Stay away from her!  
  
Shion sank to the floor and clutched her stomach, feeling long buried emotions wakening. Fear and pain. Anger and guilt.   
  
I said, stay away!  
  
Her breath hitched in her throat.  
  
Her father's holler was abruptly cut off. A strangled gurgle escaped his lips before he hit the floor next to her. Shion closed her eyes and cringed away from his limp form.  
  
  
  
Febronia.  
  
Run. Now!  
  
The Realian put up more of a struggle, but she too was tossed to the ground moments later. Shion could see her out of the corner of her eye. Febronia was looking directly at her. No, it was just her mind playing tricks on her. She was dead. Dead and gone. Shion turned away from her blank stare, shivering.  
  
Something scurried past her and slipped under her mother's bed. Shion looked up and saw the little girl, crouching in the corner, clawing desperately at the wall as if she could escape by some hidden exit.  
  
The sky above their heads rumbled.  
  
Shion swallowed a groan.  
  
Thunder.  
  
Lightening flashed.  
  
The room lit up briefly, sending shadows jumping and then the room plunged into darkness again. Something was coming her way. Shion scurried much like the little girl had done and pressed her back against the wall, trembling. She saw Febronia's body being snatched away and shut her eyes tight, but she couldn't block out the gruesome sounds that followed.   
  
The bed next to her was suddenly pushed aside. She crawled out of the way as her mother's bed was next to be knocked over. She could hear the little girl's whimpers. Or maybe it was her own.  
  
Stay away! cried a tiny voice.  
  
Something snapped inside. Shion lifted her head in the direction of the voice. She looked past her mother's crumpled form to see the little girl backed against the corner.  
  
Stay away!!!  
  
Shion's heart skipped a beat as she struggled to remember what happened next.  
  
How? How did she survive? How was she the only one left?  
  
There was a light.  
  
Shion didn't know where it was coming from. It was too dim to tell. But as it gradually grew in intensity, her eyes widened. Eyes that mirrored the shock in the little girl's.  
  
The shadows in the room had all stilled. They were now watching the little girl who's hands were glowing brightly. She rubbed her hands furiously, as if she could wipe away the glow. When that didn't work, she hid them behind her back, but it was useless. They could see her clearly now. They could find her in the dark because of the light.  
  
Shadows converged towards her.  
  
Don't touch her! shouted Shion, jumping to her feet. Leave her alone! She's just a little girl!  
  
They continued to crowd around her. Shion's heart was racing. She could see the fear in the girl's eyes. Shion watched as the girl raised her glowing hands in front of her and screamed. A burst of light exploded through the darkness.  
  


*****  


  
Shion sat upright in bed, clutching her sheets to her chest. She was covered in a light sheen of sweat and breathing as if she had just run a marathon. Her cheeks were wet with tears. She reached over and turned on the lights, sitting numbly while the nightmare replayed in her mind.  
  
Shion stared down at her hands, trying to see the hands of the little girl.  
  
_Was it real?_  
  
She wasn't sure. She didn't understand any of it. If anything, she had even more questions. She let out a long, shaky breath, wondering if there would ever be an end to the mystery.  
  
Tossing the sheets aside, she swung her legs over and got out of bed, but she had misjudged the strength in her limbs. Her knees buckled beneath her, sending her tumbling to the floor. A wave of nausea washed over her next. The room swirled before her eyes and then she knew nothing but darkness.  
  
  
=====  
A/N:  
Woah! that was a long chapter!.  
As always, thanks for the reviews!  
Next chapter: Shion goes hunting for answers and comes face to face with a very unexpected person  
  



	5. Exhumation, part one

Chapter Five: Exhumation, part one  
  
Gentle hands were lifting her up.  
  
Shion moaned softly, trying to move, but her body resisted, still numb from being curled up awkwardly on the cold floor. Her head lolled against something warm. Through the soft fabric, she could feel the steady rhythm of a heartbeat against her cheek.  
  
Realization slowly dawned. Someone was carrying her. It felt _nice_, she thought, snuggling closer to the warmth. Opening one eye and then the other, Shion smiled lazily at the man who held her.  
  
_Kevin..._  
  
Blue eyes peered down at her, startled.  
  
Shion blinked in confusion, feeling as though a heavy fog clung to her thoughts. She frowned and focused on his eyes. Something was not right. Something different about the shape. Shion gasped as the answer suddenly came to her.  
  
  
  
he cried in surprise, nearly dropping her on the bed.  
  
He stepped back sinking into a nearby chair and clutched his chest as if he was having a heart attack. She was sorry for scaring him, but her guilt quickly vanished when she remembered that she was barely dressed. Her face flushed as she fumbled blindly for the sheets.  
  
What are you doing in my room?! Shion squealed, covering herself up to her chin.  
  
I got a message that you might be in trouble.  
  
A message?  
  
Yeah, KOS-MOS woke me up... said I should come check on you.  
  
  
  
Shion stared blankly, trying to remember something.  
  
she yelped suddenly, jumping out of bed. Allen, she was in my dream last night. It was her. It really was. And her eyes were blue. And Nephilim was there.  
  
Allen eyed her worriedly.  
  
I found you passed out on the floor, Chief. Maybe we should get your head checked.  
  
What are you implying? That I hallucinated it all? For your information, I passed out _after_ I had the dream.  
  
Allen's eyes widened.  
  
That did not come out right, she said, sitting back down and looking dejectedly at her feet.  
  
I'm not saying that I don't believe you, Chief, he began, cautiously. I was just saying that we should take a look at you to make sure you're all right.  
  
Of course, Shion nodded, feeling foolish.  
  
I nearly lost it when I came in here and saw you lying on the floor. I should have known something was wrong when you didn't come to the lab last night.  
  
  
  
  
  
Shion stared at her hands, wondering if she should tell him about her dream. She looked up to find him watching her closely and at that moment, she nearly confessed everything, but something prevented her.  
  
It's nothing.  
  
Allen sighed and got to his feet. It was too much to hope. He had seen it in her eyes. He sensed that she was going to tell him something important, but then, as always, she had pulled back and down came the wall, separating her from the rest of the world.  
  
_Why doesn't she let me in? What is she afraid of?_  
  
There was nothing he could do, he realized, heading for the door. She would tell him what was on her mind when she was ready and not before. It was a waste of time getting her to see that he was there and willing to listen.  
  
Go see the doctor, he called over his shoulder. He stopped short as a thought crossed his mind and turned around. Maybe I should come with you--  
  
I don't need a baby sitter, she said, offended.  
  
Allen threw his hands in the air and quickly crossed the remaining distance to the door. She couldn't see the expression on his face, but she had the distinct feeling that he was angry with her. Shion regretted her harsh words immediately.   
  
  
  
He paused, turning slightly to look at her.  
  
  
  
  
  
Sure, Chief...  
  
The sound of his voice was cut off by the closing door. Shion blinked at the spot where he had been standing. She wasn't quite comfortable with the fact that Allen had seen this side of her. She was his superior. How could he take orders from her after seeing her so utterly helpless? But now that Allen had gone, Shion admitted that the silence made her room seem less welcoming.  
  
She placed a hand to her cheek, feeling her embarrassment return. How could she have mistaken him for Kevin? And to speak his name out loud. No wonder Allen was startled. She tried to deny it, but Kevin's presence still lingered.  
  
She sat for a long time, trying to remember what it was about him that she loved so dearly and grew anxious when she was unable to recall any strong emotions. Yet, she had been drawn to him from the first moment she met him. She remembered that much. He had a way of making her feel as if she was the most precious thing in the universe. Shion never felt the need to explain herself or make excuses for her shortcomings when she was with him. In fact, he seemed delighted by her little quirks and bits of randomness.  
  
_ If only Kevin was still alive... _  
  
Shion sniffed and wiped away a lonely tear.  
  
_What's gotten into me?_  
  
She wasn't usually so weepy. Moodiness was a trait of her brother's, not hers. Shion seldom brooded about her problems. However, the strain of the last few months was beginning to take its toll. It never occurred to her that she wasn't supposed to bear the burden alone. The future of mankind, and consequently all beings artificial or otherwise, depended on more than one person, yet, Shion felt responsible for reasons she couldn't explain.  
  
She felt responsible for all of them. There were those who were dead: her parents, Kevin, Commander Cherenkov... somewhere in the back of her mind, they still existed, locked away forever in darkness. And the living... like her brother. Even Allen. Although they were a part of her life, they never really _touched_ her life. They were like shadows, without shape or purpose. Just existing in the background until they joined the others.   
  
The dead and the living... to Shion, they were the buried and unburied.  
  
Shion inhaled sharply at the morbid turn her thoughts had taken. Did she actually believe these things? Was she just waiting for everyone to die on her? The idea was unsettling, but in it, there was a ring of truth.  
  
She shook her head forcefully, not liking where her thoughts were going. With a little sigh and a shrug, Shion got out of bed, deciding to head to the lab and throw herself into some work. She was also eager to see KOS-MOS and find out how much of her dream had been real. KOS-MOS would be able to give her the proof she needed. Grabbing her Connection Gear from the table, Shion hurried out the door.  
  


*****  


  
Allen's eyes were glued to the door leading to the second lab where Shion had been holed up with KOS-MOS for an entire afternoon. There was no sign that she would be leaving anytime soon. She's definitely up to something, he thought, crooking his head to the side and groaning as the muscles in his neck began to spasm. The tension in his shoulders had been increasing steadily all morning. Allen felt as if his worries were multiplying by the minute.  
  
He frowned and rubbed his neck, remembering how Shion had waltzed into the lab, smiling and waving hello as if nothing had happened. If he hadn't seen it with his own eyes, he never would have believed that she had lain in a dead heap beside her bed earlier. He watched her closely as she greeted everyone, hoping to see a crack in her smile, but it was business as usual.  
  
Allen's frown deepened as he thought about KOS-MOS's urgent call. How had she known? There was nothing unusual about the data recorded from last night to suggest that the android had any contact with Shion, and yet, she had woken from her to relay a message to him.  
  
_Shion requires assistance.   
  
_Those three simple words filled him with a sense of dread. Still, nothing could have prepared him for the sight that greeted him when he entered Shion's room. Her crumpled form entangled with the sheets had made his heart drop to his knees. He was relieved to find her otherwise unhurt, but he was sure the shock had shortened his life by ten years.  
  
Allen closed his eyes, sighing at the memory of Shion snuggling close to him, then he smirked and shook his head sadly. _That was until she realized it was me and then she couldn't get away fast enough._ Allen felt a pang of jealousy. Nothing had hurt more than hearing her utter Kevin's name. At that moment, the ground beneath his feet had disappeared. He felt as if he were falling and clawing at nothing but air. He was _still_ falling, he realized. Falling and waiting for the impact that would crush him.  
  
When he opened his eyes again, he discovered that he was alone in the lab. When had everyone gone home? he wondered, glancing at the time on his screen. He'd been sitting there so completely absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed how late it was. Still, the door to the second lab remained firmly shut.  
  
Allen stared into space, debating with himself about what to do when his computer suddenly blinked to life and his screen was flooded with data. His eyes widened when he recognized the program. He spun in his seat, frantically looking from one monitoring station to the next. Every screen displayed the same program. Allen was on his feet and across the room in an instant.  
  
As he reached the door to the second lab, he heard the computer initiate the final countdown and cursed under his breath. The door refused to open when he stepped up to it. It refused to open when he pressed his hand to the console on the wall. It certainly didn't open when he pounded it with his fist.  
  
Behind him, Allen could hear the countdown reach ten seconds, and then nine... He spun around, hurrying to the nearest station and quickly keyed in his authorization to abort the program, but his command was ignored.  
  
With a growl of frustration, Allen grabbed a headset and yelled into the mouthpiece.  
  
Chief, I know you can hear me! Stop this at once!  
  
There was no response.   
  
The room stilled.  
  
The final stages were set.  
  
Shion was deep in the recesses of the Encephalon.  
  
It was not just any program she was running. It was an old program that should have been scrapped years ago. It was one of Kevin's. The same one he used to run tests on the archetype.  
  
Allen sat down, feeling violently ill. What possessed her to dig up that old program? he wondered. Anger flared momentarily before being replaced by fear. His eyes scanned the data streaming across his screen. He didn't like the readings. Shion's vital signs were erratic.  
  
No, he thought, sitting up in his seat. He couldn't just sit and watch. He had to try something. He had to get her to listen. He put on the headset and opened up a direct link to Shion.  
  
This is dangerous, Chief, he said, as calmly as he could. This program is unstable. Think about the safety protocols. Chief? I know you're listening. Please. Say something. _Anything._  
  
Still no answer. He tried again.  
  
Whatever it is that you think you're going to accomplish... it isn't worth it. Nothing is worth losing you. Don't go any further. Turn back now... _please_. Chief?  
  
Her pulse rate jumped. His jaw ticked. The seconds passed by silently.  
  
Allen dropped his head into his hands.  
  
_Shion, come back..._  
  
  
=====  
A/N:  
this chapter was originally going to be told through flashbacks, but I've moved things around  
notice this chapter is part one, the next is part two. I had to split it because it was too long  



	6. Exhumation, part two

Chapter 5: Exhumation, part two  
  
Shion's footsteps sounded hollow against the ground, as if she were walking in a giant cavern, although there was nothing around her to suggest such a thing. The environment was featureless. A white void. She couldn't tell what the dimensions of the space were. It seemed to stretch on forever in all directions, but at the same time it also felt constricted.   
  
The program was primitive in construction, used only to test the archetype's logic architecture. After the incident that had claimed the lives of so many top researchers in Vector's employ, the program was locked away with the rest of Kevin's files, only available for research purposes and never again for actual use, but Shion had easily bypassed security and retrieved it.  
  
The data recorded from KOS-MOS's nightly system checks revealed nothing. If KOS-MOS had been a witness to her dream, the memory of it existed on a level that Shion couldn't access. _Or, there's no memory in her databanks because she wasn't really there._  
  
Shion shook her head. No, KOS-MOS _had_ been there. She had seen the whole thing through Shion's eyes. It was as if their minds had overlapped. Yet, Shion was having trouble finding concrete proof and KOS-MOS didn't seem to remember anything. When Shion had asked what prompted her to call Allen to come to her aid, the android had trouble articulating her answer.  
  
There was, of course, the mysterious Nephilim to take into account. However, Shion didn't think it was her influence that allowed KOS-MOS to tap into her dream. Nephilim was only the catalyst that brought them together. Shion didn't know how, but she was sure that KOS-MOS and her were connected. Somehow, their minds were on the same wavelength.  
  
It occurred to her that Kevin would understand what was happening. Kevin was the only other person who knew KOS-MOS as well as she did. Perhaps, he even knew KOS-MOS _better_ than she did. It was then that she decided to retrieve the last program he had been working on. She was hoping he had left behind some clues that would give her insight into KOS-MOS's apparent evolution... into what, exactly? Shion wasn't sure. As Shion continued deeper into the program, Kevin's words came back to haunt her.  
  
_She's more than just a weapon. I wish people would understand... she's like a child. She has the same ability to learn and grow that we do. She has the potential to be more... human... When that day comes, I hope she'll be like you, Shion._  
  
Shion smiled, thinking the idea was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. KOS-MOS, just like her? She thought of herself as clumsy and absentminded. She wouldn't want KOS-MOS to be like her.  
  
A dot in the distance caught her attention. Shion continued towards it. At first, the object seemed miles away, a speck of white on white, but suddenly it was next to her, just on the boundary of her peripheral vision. She turned to face the object, squinting as her visual field momentarily went out of focus.  
  
All she could tell was that the object was a person. A woman, to be exact. Through the static she could see the figure approach.  
  
How may I be of assistance?  
  
It's just the program's UI, thought Shion, feeling relieved.  
  
Recall the last data entry.  
  
Retrieving last entry...  
  
A few seconds passed. The static continued to distort her vision. It's like trying to see through a snowstorm, thought Shion, almost tempted to call on Allen and get it fixed, but she didn't want to hear his desperate pleas. She didn't need another distraction.  
  
There was a blip as something was added to the environment.  
  
Last entry loaded. Do you wish to continue this session?  
  
Shion rubbed her chin, unsure. She turned to face the scratchy figure, frowning as she realized that there was something familiar about her. She sighed and returned her attention to the object that had been loaded. It appeared to be another person. Shion took a step closer. The static suddenly cleared, leaving her face to face with a perfect reconstruction of the archetype.  
  
Shion flinched as their eyes locked. She remembered the last time they stared at one another like this. The world seemed to disappear, just like it did now, leaving only her and the machine. And then she had put a bullet in between it's eyes.  
  
Shion felt an urge to run, but she calmed herself and walked around the android, remembering details she had forgotten. They had made many changes to KOS-MOS's appearance, but underneath, she was still the same as her original counterpart.  
  
Shion smiled excitedly, lifting her head and peering over the android's shoulder to give a command to the program, but the words died on her lips. Standing a short distance away, with her hands clasped behind her back was an identical version of herself.  
  
The program's UI was her.  
  
Do you wish to continue this session? repeated the program, oblivious to Shion's shock.  
  
What am I doing here... I mean, what are _you_ doing, being _me_?  
  
I do not understand. Please state another command.  
  
Shion whispered, walking around the archetype to stand in front of herself. This was his idea of a funny joke. It wasn't enough that we worked together and saw each other every day... he had to stick me in here, too.  
  
I do not understand--  
  
Yes, I know, Shion replied, exasperated. No wonder Kevin didn't let anyone else run this program. It was slightly embarrassing. All right, she sighed. Let's continue the session. Hopefully, there won't be anymore surprises, she added silently.  
  
She listened to herself list the current settings and then the program seemed to go through some sort of checklist.  
  
Downloading memory blocks 215 to 230 into archetype. Extrapolating data. Networks are stable and holding. Proceeding to download blocks 231 to 245.  
  
said Shion, shaking her head in confusion. Memory blocks? What memory blocks?  
  
Data retrieved from MM1's consciousness.  
  
  
  
Mizrahi, Model 1. A prototype Realian with advanced anti-Gnosis capabilities.  
  
Momo, thought Shion, spinning around to face herself. What was Kevin testing in here? What was he doing with this data? Shion's eyes darted back and forth from the archetype to herself, feeling as if she were trapped in some twisted nightmare. There was a sinking feeling in her stomach as she wondered what else Kevin had been keeping from her.   
  
Do you wish to continue downloading?  
  
Shion answered, shaking her head.  
  
Do you wish to analyze network growth?  
  
She hesitated.   
  
Expansion of neural networks by 33.21 percent. New pathways created in regions 1 and 4. Visual and emotive centers stimulated--  
  
Shion said, her ears perking at a certain word. She looked over at the archetype, her eyes narrowing on its mask-like face. Emotive centers? Did it feel something?  
  
_She has the potential to be more human...  
_  
Shion's brow creased in apprehension.  
  
_Kevin, what were you trying to do?_  
  
There was a buzzing sound just before the static returned. Shion turned back to face herself, but everything was unclear. It grew increasingly difficult to tell foreground from background. The static had flattened everything into one shallow plane.  
  
This is not good, she said, feeling disoriented. She heard the program respond, but the static distorted the words. Not good, she repeated. When things only got worse, Shion decided it was time to leave.  
  
KOS-MOS? Can you hear me?  
  
There was a muffled reply.  
  
Pull me out, she ordered, wincing at the anxiety in her voice.  
  
Shion waited, watching the environment around her twitch and break apart. It's collapsing, she thought, trying not to panic. She felt the ground beneath her feet drop and shut her eyes as a strong sensation of flying upwards caused her stomach to lurch.  
  
For a while, everything was dark. Muffled sounds drifted all around. Her body seemed to float downwards until it was cushioned by padded material. Someone had removed the visor from her eyes. Shion blinked up at the ceiling. A shadow hovered above her. As it came closer, she could see that it was a boy. He smiled at her and said something, but his face was already fading. In his place, stood Allen who was also saying something and by the wild gestures he was making, it looked like he was terribly upset.   
  
Shion's shock at being pulled out of the Encephalon so abruptly lasted only a short while and then the sights and sounds in the room seemed to come screaming back at her. Or, perhaps, it only seemed that way because Allen was screaming at her.  
  
I can't take anymore shocks, he was saying. I think my hair is going grey.  
  
Did I worry you that much? Shion asked, sitting up.  
  
Allen stared at her as if she had asked a stupid question.  
  
You didn't have to worry. KOS-MOS was watching me.  
  
He looked over at the android who's calm expression never seemed to waver.  
  
I don't like it, he said, unconvinced. I don't like the whole situation. You can't keep throwing yourself into harm's way. It was very reckless what you did. Not to mention a violation of every safety protocol--  
  
Allen, I'm fine.  
  
Yes, this time. What about the next time? What am I _saying_? There's not going to _be_ a next time. Do you realize how close you came to... Allen clamped his jaw shut and turned his back to her, too upset to continue.  
  
He really is mad, isn't he, KOS-MOS? Shion asked, glancing across the room to where KOS-MOS stood.  
  
answered the android.  
  
Of course, I'm mad! he cried, turning back around. I had to reroute the system to pull you out. If I had taken two seconds longer...  
  
Shion wondered out loud. But, I thought...  
  
I was trying to shut down the program the whole time, he admitted. There was too much feedback to monitor what was happening. It was too dangerous letting you continue when we couldn't even contact you.  
  
You couldn't hear me at all?  
  
Allen shook his head. Shion let out a huge sigh.  
  
I guess I owe you.  
  
Allen snorted and strode across the room.  
  
Where are you going?  
  
To get my heart checked, he answered sharply.  
  
  
  
Don't even _think_ about doing anything reckless while I'm gone.  
  
Shion watched his back as he left the lab.  
  
I've never seem him so angry. I think I should apologize.  
  
It would be a wise decision, replied KOS-MOS.  
  
Shion sighed and got to her feet. She was too tired to go after him now and there were a lot of things on her mind. She decided to have a talk with Allen in the morning and told KOS-MOS she would return after she got some rest.  
  
Good night, KOS-MOS.  
  
Good night, Shion.  
  
Shion smiled as she left the lab, thinking that KOS-MOS had grown so much in the last few months. Kevin was right about one thing. She did have the potential to be more human. However, the things that Shion had seen in Kevin's program had sewn a seed of suspicion in her mind. The memories she had of him were now slanted in a dark light.  
  
She wondered, briefly, if she should notify her superiors about Kevin's apparent involvement with Momo, but then she realized that she had only her suspicions and a badly corrupted program to back her up. She was also hesitant to admit that she had retrieved the program without authorization.  
  
Shion was still undecided about what to do when she arrived at her room. Overcome by exhaustion, she crawled into bed, closing her eyes and willing sleep to claim her. The last thing Shion remembered before drifting off was the face of the boy.  
  
He was looking down at her and smiling.  
  
They were talking about something.  
  
Or, rather _he_ was talking and _she_ was listening.  
  
_Don't be afraid, Shion._  
  
He was telling her not to worry.  
  
_Everything will be all right.  
  
_Was it? Was everything all right?  
  
_I'll take care of you. I promise. I'll find a way._  
  
Someone else was there with them.  
  
The boy looked up, startled.  
  
He flashed her one final look before hurrying away.  
  
And then a wall closed around her, separating her from the rest of the world.  
  
  
  
=====  
A/N:  
UI - User Interface  
I really have no idea how the Encephalon works. I'm guessing it's something like the training program in the Matrix. Hopefully the plot doesn't fall apart at this point! :)  
next chapter: haven't decided yet...  



	7. Affinity

Chapter Six: Affinity  
  
Miltia, 4751 T.C.  
  
Shion tilted her head to look up at the pale sky. Her breath danced before her in swirls of white mist, but it was the snow that held her attention. A particularly large snowflake landed on her eye causing her to blink several times. It melted, creating a tiny droplet of water which slowly migrated down her warm cheek. The sensation left her breathless.  
  
Are you going to stand there all day? asked a gruff voice from behind.  
  
She turned and blinked at a boy who had already started walking away.  
  
You act like you've never seen snow before, he called over his shoulder.  
  
Shion frowned, trying to recall a memory.  
  
I haven't, she said to herself after drawing a blank.  
  
She gave the sky one final glance before hurrying after the boy.  
  
The two walked side by side in silence, listening to the soft crunch of snow beneath their feet, but their thoughts were worlds apart. The boy was fourteen, tall and proud like his father with dark hair and solemn looking eyes. The girl, nearly six, was small for her age but already showing signs of genius. Unlike the boy, she had green eyes and red hair. They were a mismatched pair, but they were family.  
  
Shion looked up at her brother, wondering why he was in such a rush. His profile revealed nothing of his thoughts. She was walking as fast as her little legs could go and still having a hard time keeping up. Without warning, she felt herself fall forwards as her foot slipped on a piece of ice. The next thing she knew, she was sitting on the ground, staring up at her brother's back in shock. Shion felt hot tears streaming down her cheeks. Her brother stopped and turned around, equally shocked to learn that she had fallen. His brusque manner softened and he quickly went to her side.  
  
Are you all right?  
  
She sniffed and nodded.  
  
Nothing broken? he teased.  
  
She shook her head.  
  
Just a little stunned, I guess, he said, straightening and helping her to her feet. Come on, we'll be late. He took hold of her hand and they continued down the street towards the shuttle stop. Seconds later, the shuttle came into view, screeching to a halt in front of them. Brother and sister piled inside along with the other passengers.  
  
The compartment they were in was cramped. Shion's fingers tightened around her brother's hand. She shifted uneasily and pressed herself closer to his side. When he noticed her discomfort, he looked down at the top of her head and smiled unsympathetically. Everything seemed to make her nervous. She couldn't rely on him to protect her all the time. Soon, he would be going away to study and then what would she do?  
  
The shuttle rocked gently back and forth. Outside the window, the snow continued to fall, fast and furious. Shion leaned against her brother's arm and quietly observed the glum faces of the passengers. The shuttle was full of government employees and a few workers in the service industry, all dressed smartly in their uniforms and staring blankly ahead at nothing in particular. There was a Realian sitting in the back smiling at her. Shion returned her smile.  
  
When their stop neared, her brother edged closer to the doors, pulling her along with him. The shuttle suddenly jerked to a stop and the doors swished open, letting in a flurry of snowflakes. They pushed their way outside into the cold and stood in the empty street looking around uncertainly, as if testing the severity of the weather before continuing. A small park waited ahead, and then some steps and a playground. Beyond that was a hospital.  
  
Come on, urged her brother. My feet are getting cold.  
  
Shion skipped alongside him, trying to keep up. They climbed the steps and crossed the playground, but instead of heading towards the hospital, they continued to the building next door. Like most government buildings, nothing about it was remarkable. It was small and squat, revealing little about the type of work that went on within. It sat impassively on a huge and mostly undeveloped lot.  
  
Once inside, the pair were greeted by several people, none of whom Shion knew by name. Her brother continued to lead her through a maze of hallways, their wet boots squeaking loudly in the silence as they walked. Finally, they reached their destination, stopping in front of a door and pausing as it slid open. Shion was suddenly bombarded by noise and confusion as various employees ran by, each absorbed in finishing their work before heading home. Somebody called to them from across the room.  
  
You finally made it. I was getting worried.  
  
It started snowing, explained her brother.  
  
I can see that, said the voice, quietly amused.  
  
Shion looked up as a shadow fell in front of her. Strong hands were under her, lifting her up. She smiled and laughed, delighted by the feeling of being weightless.  
  
How is my little girl? her father asked, brushing the snowflakes from her hair.  
  
I'm fine.  
  
Can I go now? her brother demanded irritably.  
  
Yes, you may go now, her father answered, rolling his eyes at her. He's so impatient, isn't he? How does that old saying go? Take time to stop and smell the roses? You should try to remember that, Jin. It never does one any good to grow up too fast.  
  
Yeah, yeah, her brother said, stuffing his hands in his pockets and turning to leave. I'll see you at home, he said sullenly.  
  
All right.  
  
Her father's attention was already turned towards something else. Shion saw her brother flash them a gloomy look before disappearing out the door.  
  
Ready to go visit mommy? her father asked.  
  
Shion nodded, excitedly.  
  
She was very happy to see us yesterday. I think she's starting to feel better.  
  
Shion nodded.  
  
Her father's smile was optimistic.  
  
he continued. Ever since you came along...  
  
His words drifted off and he shook his head, smiling fondly at her.  
  
Your presence has made all the difference.  
  
Shion tilted her head to the side. Sometimes her father said things she didn't understand, but she never asked questions. She was content to be held and adored. She enjoyed their evenings together, even if they were spent in a place of much sickness and sorrow. The suffering seemed to bring them closer.  
  
They left the building, hand in hand, making their way across the yard through wet slush and falling snow. As they approached the hospital, Shion gazed numbly at the large glass doors leading inside. She had been coming to the facility every evening for the past month. The visits were becoming so routine that they were verging on ritual. Shion looked up at her father, feeling the tension ebb away when she saw how happy he was. She smiled and clutched his hand tightly, glad that her presence was able to ease some of his pain.  
  
They entered the hospital, walking straight past the nurses who greeted them pleasantly, and headed to the room at the end of the hall. Her father took a moment to brush the snow from her hair and straighten his suit before taking a step towards the door and entering the room.  
  
A woman stood at the window. Her slender figure was silhouetted against the sky, white with snow. The picture took their breaths away. She turned around, smiling warmly. Her dark eyes fell on Shion's face as if searching for something.  
  
Shion smiled.  
  
Relief washed over the woman's features and she smiled back.  
  
My darling, she said, holding out her hand.  
  
Shion looked hesitantly up at her father. He let go of her and urged her forwards. Shion walked across the room and placed her hand tentatively in the hand of the woman.  
  
Let me look at you. She crouched down until their eyes met. My Shion, she murmured, stroking her fingers through Shion's hair. My daughter, Shion. There was a distant look in her eyes, but it vanished quickly. She straightened, putting her arms around Shion's shoulders and turned to face her husband.  
  
Are you happy to see us? asked her father.  
  
Of course, she replied, smiling brightly. I feel better each day. Soon I'll be ready to come home... to you... and... to our children.  
  
Her father's smile faltered just a little.  
  
They spent the evening making plans. The future was a bright and happy place. A less lonely place now that three of them were together. Outside the window the snow continued to fall, covering the world in a blanket of white. The white of forgetfulness.  
  
Tucked away from reality, Shion believed that she belonged to this man and woman. She believed they were a family. When they spoke of their future together, she was thrilled to be included. She was thrilled to be a part of something instead of being treated like discarded material.  
  
Later that night, Shion had the same nightmare that had been plaguing her since she could remember. Her strangled cries brought her father running to her room.  
  
he said, cradling her in his arms. Shion, what is it? That dream again?  
  
Shion could only manage to nod through her sobbing.  
  
There's no reason to be afraid, he said, trying to comfort her.  
  
She shook her head, wishing she could believe him. Standing at the door was her brother with his hair sticking out at all angles and his pajamas gently ruffled.  
  
What's wrong with her? he asked, rubbing his eyes sleepily.  
  
Nothing is wrong with her, snapped her father.  
  
Could have fooled me, he replied, yawning.  
  
Go back to bed, Jin.  
  
She cries _all_ the time, whined the boy.  
  
said her father in a warning tone.  
  
Shion sniffed and wiped her tears with the back of her hand.  
  
I'm sorry, she said weakly, staring down at her lap.  
  
There's nothing to be sorry about, Shion. Nothing at all. Your brother is just being insensitive. A snort from across the room.  
  
I'm going to bed. He folded his arms in front of him and left the room in a huff.  
  
Her father sighed heavily, still cradling her in his arms. Shion closed her eyes, lulled by a feeling of warmth and security that she had never known before.  
  
Ignore him, her father said after a while. He's having difficulty adjusting to the... changes. He'll come around eventually.  
  
She nodded mutely.  
  
Just try to remember... this is your home now. This is where you belong. With me. With Jin. And with your mother... when she gets well again. You will always be part of our family. So, there's no reason to be afraid. You're not alone anymore.  
  
Shion nodded again.  
  
Do you think you can go back to sleep now?  
  
  
  
  
  
She pulled away and settled under the blankets.  
  
  
  
I'm just next door. It's all right to call for me.  
  
She closed her eyes.  
  
I'm okay.  
  
All right. Good night, Shion.  
  
Good night, daddy.  
  
Her father left the room, turning off the lights as he went. Shion pulled the covers up to her chin and curled into a ball. The nightmare had a hold of her and it refused to let go. She forced herself to take deep, calming breaths. She wouldn't cry anymore. She wouldn't give them reason to send her back. She didn't want to go back to that place.   
  
Whenever she thought about it, she could only remember silence.  
  
Unending silence.  
  
And sleeping.  
  
She had been sleeping forever.  
  
Since she'd been born.  
  
She slept in that bed of metal with the walls of glass.  
  
Sometimes that boy would come.  
  
More often than not, she would be left alone. To sleep. Sometimes to dream.  
  
One day everything changed. She woke up. She opened her eyes, blinked up at the world and somebody told her she would be going to live somewhere. In a real home with a real family. She would have a father. He promised to take care of her. She would never have to sleep behind those walls again.  
  
But she still remembered the way it felt.  
  
Lonely and empty.  
  
She remembered longing for the boy to come. To whisper secret promises in her ear. _Don't be afraid, Shion. Everything will be all right. I'll take care of you. I promise. I'll find a way._ And he did.  
  
She had a home now and a real bed, but she couldn't quite let go of that other life. Snippets of conversations would drift back to her in the night. Distant words spoken by nameless faces. Sometimes she recognized the voice of the boy. Most of the time, she didn't know who was speaking. They were always arguing. Arguing about her.  
  
And then came the inevitable silence.  
  
A shadow hovered above her. The wall slid apart to reveal his smiling face.  
  
_Are you awake?  
  
Of course you're not.  
  
Not yet, anyway.  
  
But I know you can hear me.  
  
I know you're aware.  
  
I'm sorry I can't come more often.  
  
He won't let me.  
  
He's... not himself lately.  
  
Ever since... she died.  
  
He's forgotten about you.  
  
But I haven't.  
  
I won't.  
  
I'll help you.  
  
Don't worry, Shion.  
  
I'll take care of you.  
  
Always.  
_  
His words would comfort her but the comfort never lasted. As soon as he would go, closing the glass panel over her and shutting her in, Shion's loneliness would return. The memory was burned into her soul, buried with other painful things she chose to forget over the years. Obsessions would flower in the depths of these forgotten memories. Obsessions with all things like her. The discarded and obsolete. Solitary figures separated from the collective. All things unique having nowhere and no one to whom they belonged. Like her. They would be the familiar ties to an unknown part of herself that she would cling to when nothing else in the world made sense.  
  
Two years later, she would lose her parents.  
  
Twelve years after that, Kevin.  
  
And still she went on living, mocking their deaths with her existence.  
  


*****  


  
Shion stirred from her sleep, feeling the weight of the world pressing in on her from all sides. She opened her eyes, not remembering where she was or even what day it was. Nothing penetrated her muddled thoughts. It was as if she was disconnected from everything around her. She sat up in bed and hung her head, waiting for recognition to sink in.  
  
There was an urgent buzzing coming from the door. She listened to it for a full two minutes before it opened without her consent. The relief on Allen's face called her back from the distant past, pulling her into the present and into a state of emergency as disarming emotions bubbled to the surface. A sob escaped her lips as she looked across the room at him. He froze on the spot, unsure.  
  
Shion didn't know she was crying until he was sitting next to her, wiping the tears from her face. He held her, hesitantly at first, and then with more certainty. Neither of them said a word for the longest time. When Shion had finished shedding the last tear, she sighed against his shoulder and told him that there was something wrong with her.  
  
He told her there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. The same words her father once spoke. Something within her broke. In her mind, she imagined glass shattering into a million pieces. She pulled back to look at him, seeing him for the first time without the wall between them.  
  
Allen could only gape back at her, shocked to see the veil lifted from her eyes. A conversation with chaos sprang to mind. Allen felt like smiling, but he didn't dare. The moment was too precious. He was afraid that it would vanish before he could enjoy it. What happens next, he wondered, waiting for the spell to break.  
  
His heart sank when he saw a despondent look enter her eyes.  
  
My mother had a serious illness, Shion began, speaking in hushed tones. We visited her every day at the hospital, my father and I, but her condition only worsened. In the end, she didn't remember who I was.  
  
Shion's eyes were dark.  
  
Now I realize... she couldn't remember me because... she never knew me.  
  
Allen was startled and confused by her confession, but he remained silent, unwilling to interrupt. Shion raised her hands, palms turned upwards, and stared hard at them.  
  
She never had a daughter.  
  
She smiled sadly and dropped her hands in her lap. Allen covered them with his own and squeezed gently. He didn't understand, but at least she was opening up. She was finally sharing some of her pain.  
  
The silence in the room lengthened. Thoughts went unspoken. After what felt like a lifetime, Shion made a decision.  
  
I'm going home. To see my brother.  
  
Much to her surprise, Allen nodded.  
  
Shion looked down at their hands.  
  
Will you... do you think you could... come with me?  
  
There was no answer. Shion lifted her head to look at him through her lashes. Allen appeared to be dumbstruck by her request.  
  
  
  
Hmm? Oh, sorry. Sure, Chief. I'll be happy to escort you--  
  
As a friend, I mean. Come as a friend.  
  
He gave her a doubtful look which melted into a warm smile.  
  
As a friend, then, he said, nodding.  
  
Once it was settled, Shion let out a heavy sigh and thought about the impending confrontation with her brother. She was not looking forward to the things he had to say, but she needed to hear them. His memories of the past would help piece together the jumbled mess inside her head. Besides, it was time for them to reconcile their differences. Shion sensed a great darkness looming in their future and realized that they needed each other now more than ever.  
  
  
=====  
A/N:  
Hmm, more intrigue.... are you ready to kill me yet? LOL. If you haven't guessed where I'm going with this story, I'm not going to tell you :)  
The big reveal is coming up soon. Hats off to Lady T, who guessed correctly.  
I know next to nothing about Jin so bear with me. I made him 8 years older than Shion, but I think he's much older? He seems to bear a grudge against her... all will be made clear, hopefully!  
Did you get the reference to her friends in the end there. Discarded and obsolete=Ziggy, separated from the collective=Jr., unique=Momo and KOS-MOS.  
Next chapter: the past through Jin's eyes  
  
  
  



	8. Perception, part one

Chapter Seven: Perception, part one  
  
The Uzuki house was a peculiarity in a world where everything was automated by computers. Several rooms in the house were not even equipped to accept voice activated commands. Walls were paper thin, sliding doors opened manually, and there was no artificial environment to regulate. In the cooler seasons, a noticeable chill ran through the house and in the summers, the doors and windows were opened to alleviate the heat. It was a mystery why anyone would subject themselves to such a barbaric lifestyle.  
  
The house was situated on top of a steep incline miles away from the hustle and bustle of city life. The hill sloped south at such a sharp angle that the house appeared to sit on the edge of a precipice. To the east was a spectacular view of the city and to the west, a winding road that lead down the hill through a heavily wooded forest. Why Jin chose this particular plot of land to settle on baffled Shion. It was so isolated from everything.  
  
The land to the north flattened out into a plateau and it was from this plateau that one could see nothing but water for miles and miles. A shrine and two tombstones also rested here, sheltered by the shade of several cherry trees in full bloom. A sudden breeze swept through the trees and they shivered, sending a gentle rain of white petals to the earth.  
  
It was well past noon and the sun's rays had shifted significantly before a man emerged from the shrine. His eyes were drawn immediately to the expanse of blue stretching out into the distance. The sea, deep and calm, reflected sentiments within the man. A trace of a smile dimpled his cheeks as he soaked up the view. The novelty of the moment never seemed to dull.   
  
_I stand here every day, but every day feels like it's the first time._  
  
With slow, meditative strides, he left the doorway of the shrine and walked down the steps, carelessly plucking a blossom from a low hanging branch as he passed. The flower seemed to dissolve between his fingers upon contact. Its petals fluttered to the ground like tiny, white butterflies. Life was so frail, he thought, staring at the remains of the blossom in his hand. He lifted his palm and a breeze carried the stem skyward.  
  
_Though life ends here, life begins elsewhere._  
  
He smiled faintly, comforted by the thought and turned down a dirt path towards the house. As he neared the gate to the yard, the sound of voices immediately put him on guard. He wasn't expecting visitors. In fact, he _never_ got visitors. His hand instinctively went to his side and gripped the hilt of the sword he carried with him at all times.  
  
Eyes narrowed on the door. The voices were coming from inside the house. His brow creased in confusion and then his jaw dropped when he recognized the voice belonging to the woman.  
  
_It can't be..._  
  
His sister's face appeared at the entrance.  
  
_Shion._  
  
At first, he thought he was imagining things. She was supposed to back at Vector. Less than a month had passed since he saw her depart from the Foundation and he didn't expect to see her again for another year or two at the very least. Apparently, coming home to visit family wasn't very high on her list of priorities.  
  
Hello, Jin, she called softly from the doorway.  
  
he said, crossing the yard. It really _is_ you.  
  
He stood in front of her, hesitantly searching her face for answers. There was something different about her... a wounded look in her eyes that hadn't been there before. It left him momentarily stunned. He hadn't seen that look since she was a child.  
  
It was then that he realized Shion hadn't returned because she wanted to. She came because she had to. He knew only one reason that would bring her out here and his heart grew heavy. It was not going to be a pleasant visit for either of them. He let out a sigh and reached out to greet her with an awkward hug.  
  
You must be weary from your trip.  
  
A little, she confessed, releasing him from the embrace.  
  
Come inside. I'll make tea.  
  
He slipped out of his shoes, leaving them by the door and walked past her. It was then that he saw Allen standing in the room. The shock of seeing another man in his home quickly vanished and a broad smile was plastered across his face.  
  
Jin cried, walking over to shake his hand. Well, well, well, he said, pumping the other man's hand vigorously.  
  
Allen looked over at Shion as if asking for help.  
  
Well, well, well, _what_? asked Shion with one eyebrow raised.  
  
Jin shook his head, grinning.  
  
I never thought you'd invite any of your friends here, that's all, he replied, finally dropping Allen's hand.  
  
That's because this place is so inhospitable, Shion answered tersely. Half the rooms in this house don't even have computer access. It's like you have something against technology. And I noticed that the Connection Gear I sent you for your birthday is sitting on the shelf, collecting dust.  
  
What use do I have for such toys out here? Jin wondered flippantly, heading to the door on the other side of the room.  
  
Do you see what I have to put up with? Shion asked Allen, who wisely remained silent. He's so ignorant when it comes to these things.  
  
Ignorance is bliss, came Jin's amused reply. Life is so much less complicated without all that _stuff_, he explained with a shrug. I'll be back with the tea. In the meantime, make yourselves comfortable.  
  
Shion huffed and sat down on the floor.  
  
she demanded. There isn't any furniture.  
  
Jin's chuckles followed him down the hall.  
  
Allen shifted on the spot, looking curiously around the room. Shion was right. Besides a low, square table and some cushions, there wasn't any furniture. If he didn't know any better, he would have guessed that her brother was poor.  
  
He looked down at Shion and wondered if he should remain standing or join her on the floor. She had warned him about her brother's peculiarities, including his love of strange customs and rituals, but he didn't quite expect _this_. He looked down at his socks and rubbed one foot over the other nervously, still debating his seating problem.  
  
I'm really sorry, Shion said quietly, without turning her head. I know this isn't what you're used to.  
  
Suddenly, Allen realized that she was embarrassed of her home and he was contributing to her embarrassment. He felt like an idiot. Wanting to show her that he didn't care, Allen moved to a cushion and sat down, crossing his legs in front of him like it was the most natural thing in the world. Shion glanced at him, then burst out laughing.  
  
he asked.  
  
Nothing. You just look funny sitting on the floor, she giggled.  
  
You're sitting on the floor, too, he reminded her.  
  
Yes, but this is probably the first time _you've_ visited someone's home and had to sit on the floor.  
  
Allen thought about it and shrugged. She did have a point. A smile lifted the corners of his mouth as he listened to her giggle. He couldn't remember the last time he heard her laugh, but she quickly sobered and his smile faded.  
  
I'm glad you're here, Allen, she said staring at the floor in front of her.  
  
He turned to look at her profile, amazed for the hundredth time that she had asked him to accompany her. It took a few weeks to rearrange their schedules and book some time off and during that period, Allen kept waiting for her to change her mind. He expected her, at least, to have second thoughts about leaving KOS-MOS behind, but she seemed strangely confident that KOS-MOS would be all right.  
  
The drastic change in outlook made him suspicious. Shion was always worrying about KOS-MOS. The fact that she wasn't worrying now meant that she wasn't herself. Allen wondered where that left him once things returned to normal. He agonized over the question the entire trip and couldn't quite relax even now when she had spoken.  
  
You're not sorry you came, are you? she asked when he didn't reply.  
  
He shook his head. Of course not, Chief.  
  
We're not at work, Allen. You don't have to call me Chief.  
  
Shion watched Allen's brows knit together in concentration, but he didn't appear eager to share his thoughts. She sighed and looked down at her lap. What did she expect? She hadn't been forthcoming with her own thoughts lately. The last few weeks had been strange, not only for her but everyone around her as well. Everyone noticed that something was wrong even though she tried to hide behind her smile. It disturbed them so much that when she asked for more time off, they gladly gave it to her, concluding that it did no one any good if she were to suffer from burn out.  
  
Shion wished it was as easy as work related stress. Her dreams were becoming more vivid each night and the gory details would remain with her, haunting her throughout the day. What unnerved Shion the most was that KOS-MOS seemed to be watching her. Perhaps it was paranoia, or maybe KOS-MOS was learning to show concern, but the android's eyes seemed less vacant than usual. Shion could see a glimmer of _something_ in the depths of those red orbs. Something sharp and intelligent. It was as if the android's perception had shifted, or more accurately, it had refocused. Shion couldn't explain why, but she felt close to KOS-MOS even now, though they were separated by so much space.  
  
Jin returned shortly with a tray, although to Shion, it felt like he had been gone for hours. When he saw them sitting on the floor, he seemed extremely delighted.  
  
The rest of the house isn't quite so sparse, of course. This is where I like to sit and meditate, he explained, setting the tray down on the table in front of them.  
  
You like to sit and meditate in every room, said Shion, rolling her eyes.  
  
Jin sat down and poured tea silently. A loose smile hung from his lips. He handed the cups to Allen and then Shion and took one for himself and for a while, the three of them sipped their steaming drinks without speaking.  
  
The mood darkened as the silence wore on. No one seemed in a hurry to address the matter at hand. When conversation could no longer be avoided, Jin set down his cup and broke the tension by telling Shion about the first time they set foot on Second Miltia.  
  
It was an ordinary day like today. Mild. Clear skies. Slight breeze. I remember thinking... an ordinary day never felt so _wonderful_. We stepped off the transport vessel and walked right past everyone... just kept walking until we left the crowd behind. We went down to the beach and chased the waves all afternoon, getting sand in our clothes and not caring... even though it was all we had with us. You said you wanted to see everything... you wanted to see our new home, every bit of it. So, we hiked up the hill and stood on the plateau. I knew then that this was where our house would be.  
  
Jin noticed Shion's forehead crinkling and laughed softly.  
  
You've forgotten, haven't you?  
  
she answered. I just haven't thought about it in a long time. I... always wondered why you decided to build our house here. I thought it was because you wanted to get as far away from everything as possible.  
  
Jin's eyes were calm like the sea. If Shion's comment hit a sore spot, he didn't show it. The thoughts that lurked in the depths of those solemn eyes would not be revealed so easily. Time and tragedy had changed his impetuous nature and each day he practiced a valuable lesson to appreciate everything around him while there was still a chance.  
  
_Stop and smell the roses. Don't grow up too fast, Jin.  
_  
He should have listened to his father's advice. Things might have been different. His father might still be alive. But he understood too late and now he had nothing but time on his hands... time to think about life's little ironies.  
  
he began, no longer the lighthearted man who laughed so easily. I _did_ want to get as far away from everything as possible... at one point in my life... this was very true.  
  
He paused to gather his thoughts.  
  
There are moments that I'm not too proud of. I let people down. I let myself down. Walking away from everyone the way I did and going off to school... I didn't realize... how much I was needed. And because I abandoned her...  
  
Jin fell silent as his eyes met Shion's from across the table. He looked at her, silently communicating his words as if it would lessen the pain if he didn't have to say them out loud. His mouth pressed into a thin line, and then he let out a long sigh.  
  
I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I? I should be asking you why you're here.  
  
You _know_ why I'm here, she said, frowning.  
  
You remembered something...  
  
She nodded and her frown deepened.  
  
Bits and pieces of my childhood, but nothing makes sense. Why can't I remember clearly? Why did I forget in the first place?  
  
The pleading note in her voice annoyed her and her brother's steady gaze only added to her aggravation. When did he become so level headed? she wondered. He seemed to have the patience of a monk. The only time he got upset was when he mentioned _her_. She knew he was talking about their mother. He rarely mentioned her, but when he did, it always upset him.  
  
Jin crossed his arms in front of him and bowed his head in thought.  
  
There's a reason you can't remember, Shion, he said gently. Something traumatic happened to you. The amnesia... it was the shock... I was told, it was probably for the best that you didn't remember...  
  
He pursed his lips and nodded.  
  
I can tell from the look on your face that you _do_ remember now... the day the Gnosis attacked... the hospital... our parents--  
  
_Your_ parents, she interrupted. Her chin lifted in defiance, daring him to deny the truth.  
  
Jin's eyes were hard. The expression on his face seemed set in stone.  
  
I see, he said after a pause. You remember that, too.  
  
She nodded.  
  
Despite how it came to be, Shion, he said quietly. We _are_ family.  
  
His voice was like steel, leaving no doubt in her mind that he meant what he said. Shion was surprised by the sense of relief his words brought.  
  
she asked. Why didn't you tell me... all these years... you could have said something.  
  
I couldn't, he said, shaking his head for emphasis. You'd lost too much... I couldn't take another thing away from you. And... I was afraid that revealing something, no matter how little... might trigger your memories of that day. The shock of what happened almost killed you before. I didn't know what it would do to you a second time.  
  
Jin fell silent as he relived a memory. The look in his eyes was fierce. He took a deep breath and visibly tensed.  
  
Now that you remember the worst of it, there's no harm in telling you the rest. But, perhaps, I should start at the very beginning. I should tell you how we came to Miltia City. I should tell you about mother.  
  
  
=====  
A/N:  
again, I have no idea what kind of person Jin is, what his past is, who he knows... I'm making it all up...  
next chapter: part two, told by Jin.


	9. Perception, part two

Chapter Seven: Perception, part two  
  
I knew her longer than you, but I have very few memories of her. She was a ghost to me even before she died. I suppose there were happy times, though they seem to me like dreams. Dreams that vanish in the light of morning.  
  
I was six when they diagnosed her with mental illness, but she must have been suffering for years. Of course, there were signs... there _always_ are signs when you look back. At the time we never thought much of them. She had an active imagination and a strong sense of humour. It was easy to dismiss the hallucinations as flights of fancy.  
  
I was with her when she had her first major episode. After that, I realized there was something very wrong with her. It took more to convince father, but he eventually succumbed and had her hospitalized. It was for her own safety and ours. She was convinced that we were all damned...  
  
From that moment on, my youth was shaped by pessimism and distrust. How could my own mother condemn me like that? I was just a child. I told myself that she didn't want us. She didn't love us. How could she say such things if she did?  
  
Over the years, as her illness grew worse, my contact with her diminished. I refused to visit her. I refused to even think of her. The woman lying in that hospital bed was not my mother. I was too young to understand... it was the illness that was making her say those things. I'm ashamed whenever I think of those days... the way father tried so hard to find a doctor who could treat her... and all I could do was sit and stew in my resentment.  
  
She started seeing things on a daily basis. Her hallucinations grew so strong that she could no longer distinguish between reality and the nightmare that existed inside her mind. Her visions were always nihilistic in nature. She would ramble on desperately to anyone who would listen... about things she saw, things that she believed would happen... it sounded like hell and she lived it every day. It was painful to watch. So, I stopped going to see her altogether.  
  
Father became desperate. When someone told us about a facility that specialized in treating illnesses like hers it was an answer to his prayers. Without a second thought, he requested a transfer to the Department of Energy which was just next door to the facility. We packed our bags and moved, just like that. I wasn't given a choice. I had to leave my friends behind. I had to leave everything familiar and comfortable. It was like I had done something wrong and was being punished.  
  
The doctor who ran the facility was very impressive. I could see father being taken in by his promises, but I couldn't quite believe our luck had finally changed. Even when mother started showing signs of improvement, I was waiting for everything to fall apart. I was probably the only one who wasn't surprised when her hallucinations returned. Father, however, was devastated.  
  
I was afraid of what the disappointment would do to him. He dared to hope... he placed all his beliefs in this doctor and his facility, but even a genius like Joachim Mizrahi couldn't save her... I was afraid he was going to give up... not just on mother, but on himself... and on me.  
  
For a while, life was unbearable in our house. It was like two strangers living under the same roof. I couldn't stand it. I used to hang around the school yard for hours instead of going home. Or, I'd go down to the shopping centre and walk around until closing time. _Anything_ to avoid the silence that waited for me at home.  
  
Then one night, I returned to find the house clean and father in the kitchen preparing dinner. I remember standing in the doorway watching him, thinking that he had finally lost it. It never occurred to me that something good had happened. Nothing good ever happened. That night, we ate our first meal together in months and he told me about you.  
  
He said he made a promise to take care of you. He said you would be coming to live with us like you were part of our family. I was too shocked to reply. In fact, I thought it was some twisted joke. Maybe, father _had_ lost it, after all. He wasn't making any sense. Why would he agree to something like this? Like we needed another burden to complicate our lives. I found out the next day that he was very serious.  
  
The first time I met you was awkward to say the least. You were so shy you couldn't even look at me. I don't think we spoke a single word to each other for weeks and then I wondered if you could even talk at all. Father said I needed to be patient. I needed to give you time to adjust. He said you were special. I thought that meant you had some sort of developmental problem. You were always staring off into space. And then I thought you might have been abused... because of the nightmares.  
  
I didn't know what father was thinking by bringing you into our home. Honestly, I didn't understand what was to be gained by having you around. I was also jealous. Father seemed more optimistic suddenly and you would spend every afternoon together visiting mother at the facility. They were _my_ family and they treated you better than their own child. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair when she started to improve. In just a few short months, you did her more good than I ever could in years. It was hard to face myself... knowing that I gave up hope. What right did I have to celebrate with everyone else now that things were finally looking up?  
  
I decided that it didn't matter. I had already made up my mind to go away. I was going to leave everything behind and start over. I wanted my own life. Sometimes, I wonder if that was the real reason why I left. Was I heading for a new beginning or was I running away from something? I realize how selfish it was of me to leave. And if there was distance between myself and my parents, I helped to create it. In any case, I had abandoned my family. I simply gave up and turned my back on everyone.  
  
I went east to attend school. It didn't even matter what I was studying. For two years, I was free. But it was an empty kind of freedom. I had my own life, but I couldn't enjoy it. What did it matter where I went when I carried my prison with me. Guilt and shame, they were like shackles. One foot chained to the other. No matter how far I went, or how hard I tried, I couldn't run away. Not really. Not ever.  
  
My biggest regret was that I left you behind. I left you alone... to deal with the madness. A man's loyalty to his wife. A woman living with demons. The obsessed and the possessed. You didn't know any different... they were just mommy and daddy. How could you have thought any less of them? How could you have known that you were just another failed attempt to help her... to help mother get better. And why didn't I say something? Why did I just let him use you like that? I turned a blind eye to what was happening even though it made me sick... the lies... the deception... it was so perfect that everyone started to believe it, but I said nothing. I did nothing. I just went away.  
  
Two years later, the Conflict broke out. Getting a message to Miltia City was impossible. I prayed that everyone was safe, but in my heart I knew the chances were slim. The area that suffered the heaviest damage was the block where father worked, where the facility stood. I couldn't reach anyone at home. After days of trying, I decided I had to return to the city.  
  
Much of Miltia was blocked off, but I managed to get into the facility as a volunteer to help evacuate the wounded. It was mind numbing what the area had turned into. Entire sections of the city were completely leveled, buildings with windows blown out, walls and vehicles riddled with bullet holes. As we drove through the streets, I could hear guns and explosions in the distance, but I could see nothing through the clouds of smoke. I think at that point, I knew. I knew my family was dead. Only a miracle could have saved them.  
  
The hospital was one of the first areas to be hit, but it was also one of the first areas to be secured. Inside, wounded soldiers and civilians were all crammed together with the patients in the facility. I couldn't tell them apart. Everyone was frantic, desperate, clinging onto anyone who could give them a sense of stability in the chaos. It struck me then, how similar their pleas were to the pleas of my mother. I felt hollow listening to the people around me. Gnosis. Gnosis, _here_... the demons... was this the hell from her tormented mind? It was an eerie coincidence.  
  
I must have asked every nurse I saw if they knew what happened to my family, but naturally, no one had time to listen to me. So, I searched every room... until I found you. I was relieved and crushed. The nurse taking care of you told me how they found you curled up on the floor... you, alone, survived. If I didn't believe in miracles before...  
  
But seeing you lying in that bed... in a state of catatonic shock... my guilt wouldn't let me rest easy. Part of me felt as if I had done that to you. I imagined the horrible things you had seen and the fear you must have felt. It should have been me. If I had been the son I was supposed to be... if I had gone to visit her faithfully every day, he never would have brought you home... you never would have had to witness the terrible things that you did.  
  
I sat by your bed for days. The Conflict raged on outside our window. Plaster from the ceiling would rain down on us occasionally and the walls would vibrate from far off explosions, but I wouldn't abandon you again. I prayed for your recovery. I prayed for forgiveness. I sat with my thoughts, waiting for you to wake up. Thoughts about father and mother. About you. What did that make us, now that the tie connecting us was severed? Family. I had been struggling with the meaning of it for so long, but oddly enough, it was the answer, plain and simple. We might not have been related by blood, but we were now the only family each other had. I promised I would never take that away from you.  
  


*****  


  
Jin stared at his tea cup, lost in thought. Shion was absorbed in her own feelings about the things she had heard. Allen watched the two siblings nervously from the side. He had no idea Shion's childhood had been this rough. She always seemed so put-together and in control. Her stubborn independence was starting to make sense to him.  
  
Jin stirred from his reverie. Eyes that were clouded with emotion a moment ago snapped into focus.  
  
Gradually, you woke up, he said. You didn't remember anything. Nothing about the Gnosis attack. Nothing about what happened to our parents. They told me not to expect too much, that you might never have those memories back. They said it might be a good thing that you didn't remember... they weren't sure you could survive another shock like that. When you were well enough, we left Miltia. We took the next transport vessel along with a flood of evacuees and came here.  
  
Shion's brows were drawn together in a frown.  
  
Do you blame me? he asked. For keeping these things from you?  
  
I don't know, she said softly.  
  
I'm sorry. I never wanted to ruin your idea of him. He cared for you, Shion, in the end... like a real daughter. I'm sure he did.  
  
Shion sighed and pushed herself to her feet.  
  
Maybe he did, she said, unconvinced.  
  
Where are you going? he asked when she headed for the hall.  
  
To be alone.  
  
  
  
She nodded from the doorway.  
  
I just need to be alone...   
  
She smiled before stepping into the hall. The smile left Jin cold.  
  
She'll be all right, Allen said, his eyes still on the spot where Shion had been standing.  
  
How can you be so sure? wondered Jin.  
  
She doesn't give up easily.  
  
Jin looked sideways at Allen, startled by the conviction in the other man's voice.  
  
No, she doesn't, he agreed, nodding slowly.  
  
We'll just have to wait... give her time...  
  
Jin stared out the window. The afternoon light was fading. It was so peaceful, he thought, closing his eyes and listening to the silence. Allen's words echoed in his ears. _She doesn't give up easily._ He smiled reluctantly, hoping that Allen was right and time was all she needed. Yet, there was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. There was something more that she wasn't telling them.  
  
She doesn't trust me anymore, said Jin, turning dark eyes on Allen. And I don't blame her. What I did... keeping those things from her... I did it to protect her.  
  
I'm sure she knows that.  
  
You didn't see what she was like when she first came to live with us... how scared she was. I don't know what her life was like before my father brought her home, but it couldn't have been nice. It was months until she was comfortable enough to say more than two words at a time. It was hard for her to open up and now... I see it happening again. She's that same little girl my father brought home. That smile. She's trying to be brave, but I know she's terrified. I think she remembers even more than she's letting on. I think she remembers where she came from. It can't be a happy memory.  
  
You have no ideas...?  
  
Jin shook his head, his expression grim.  
  
None. My father never told me anything.  
  
Allen said, his forehead wrinkling.  
  
agreed Jin.  
  
Their eyes lifted to the ceiling as the sound of footsteps reached their ears. Both men wanted to know what she was doing, but neither moved or spoke. The last thing she wanted was to have them watch her every move. After a while, Jin pushed away from the table and stood, excusing himself to go prepare dinner.  
  
The rest of the evening crawled by.  
  
Shion didn't join them for dinner. Jin brought a tray of food up to her room, but she didn't touch anything on the plate. When he came to retrieve the tray, he found Shion looking through photographs. She hardly acknowledged his presence when he entered the room, but as he left she stopped him with a question.  
  
Who was the boy?  
  
His eyes went to the screen where images of their childhood flashed by at lightening speed. One image after another. She was looking for something. Or someone.  
  
There was a boy, she said.  
  
I don't know... he answered, honestly confused.  
  
I remember a boy. You never mentioned him.  
  
She turned, pinning him to the spot with a pointed look.  
  
He was the one... who found me a home.  
  
Jin stared at her, distraught. What did she mean by that? he wondered.  
  
He rescued me...   
  
  
  
He rescued me.... from the lab. Did you know that, Jin? Did you know that I grew up in a lab?  
  
Jin took a deep breath, feeling his heart twist. His eyes fell shut as the meaning of her words penetrated. So, that was where she came from. He hadn't known. He hadn't the slightest clue. It was worse than he imagined. He opened his eyes and looked at the images flashing across the screen.  
  
You're looking for him.  
  
She nodded.  
  
There's nothing from before... from Miltia...   
  
I know. I have a feeling, though... he's been watching over me... I was hoping to catch a glimpse of him somewhere in the background.  
  
You think he survived the Conflict?  
  
She nodded.  
  
He has the rest of the answers. I know he does. I need to find him.  
  
Jin was uneasy about the idea, but seeing the determined look on Shion's face made him relent.  
  
All right. We'll find him, then... _together_.  
  
Shion stared at him for a long time before turning back around.  
  
Thank you, Jin.  
  
He nodded and left the room, feeling a sense of dread growing in the pit of his stomach. Miltia. Always Miltia. Everything started there. Everything returned there. Would they ever be free of that place?  
  
  
=====  
A/N:  
Next chapter: back at Kukai.


	10. Rain

Chapter Eight: Rain  
  
Momo's pink head of hair bobbed excitedly as she lead Allen down the stairs. Although their conversation was mostly one-sided, it didn't deter Momo from taking pleasure in Allen's company. The more time she spent with him, the more similarities she could see between them. They were both tender hearted and a bit unsure, but they felt the same way about one thing. They knew that when the time came, they would make their stand beside the ones they loved.  
  
Allen's blue eyes were darker than usual. The light that sparked in their depths now seemed a light sunken in troubled waters. Momo noticed this immediately but didn't have the heart to ask what was bothering him. Then again, she didn't have to guess what was on his mind. As they passed the door to the library, she saw him glance inside.  
  
She's still there, Momo sighed. She hasn't gone to bed, yet.  
  
We've been at this for weeks, he answered. He turned his head away from the room without catching a glimpse of Shion. We've gone over every bit of information we could find and we're no closer to the answers than when we started.  
  
Momo's smile disappeared momentarily. Most of the records on Miltia had been lost and those that still existed were restricted to government personnel of the highest level. The search for the boy from Shion's memories was a daunting process that left them frustrated and hopeless. Yet, for Shion, it was quickly becoming an obsession.  
  
She's barely said two words to me since we arrived, Allen said grimly.  
  
Momo looked up at his dejected expression. I'm sure she doesn't mean to...  
  
I know...  
  
She hesitated, carefully choosing her next words. You're worried... that you're going to lose her, aren't you?  
  
Allen was silent. The colour seemed to drain from his face. Suddenly, a smirk twisted his normally pleasant features into a scowl.  
  
I can't lose someone I never had to begin with, he replied.  
  
Momo managed not to wince at his words, but she felt his pain as if it were her own. She looked down at her feet.  
  
You're afraid... she began, timidly. that the old Shion you knew won't ever come back... I'm afraid of this, too, but neither of us can stop her. Even if she never finds the answer... she'll keep looking. That's how she is.  
  
Allen sighed, feeling his chest tighten.  
  
I know, but it's a horrible thing to watch someone you care about suffer and know there's nothing you can do to help.  
  
All we _can_ do, Momo said, smiling sadly, is be there for her.  
  
It was the simple truth. Allen stared down at her round, childish face, seeing someone else... someone much older and wiser than they all realized. Her steadfast loyalty and unwavering support of her friends humbled him. It dared him to believe that everything would work out in the end.  
  
Let's get going, shall we? If Gaignun's back, he might have some good news.  
  
Momo nodded, her smile brightening as she remembered where they were heading. She was feeling optimistic this morning and knowing Gaignun's penchant for finding rare and valuable things, their luck might finally be changing.  
  


=====

Any word from the others? asked Shion, looking up from the screen to see her brother approaching. He set something down on the table next to her, shaking his head. The smell of salmon and freshly steamed rice wafted towards her, causing her empty stomach to growl instinctively, but she pushed the tray away, feeling nauseous.  
  
You have to eat something, Shion, said her brother, exasperated. It's way past lunch and you've been sitting here since last night. If you're not going to sleep, at least nourish your body.  
  
Shion squinted at her brother, noticing the hard line of his jaw. They were both very good at playing the stubborn game and could probably argue back and forth all day, but she had no time to waste. She decided it would be easier to give in this once and picked up the bowl of rice.   
  
Jin gave a satisfied snort as she began spooning the food into her mouth. Her irritation eased somewhat once her stomach was filled, but she wasn't about to admit that lunch was exactly what she needed at the moment.  
  
As she ate, Jin sifted through the information scattered across the screens in front of her. He kept his thoughts to himself, standing so still that Shion thought he had turned to stone.  
  
What do you see? she asked, wondering what had caught his attention.  
  
He stirred from his spot, shaking his head.  
  
I was only thinking about the last two years. You've been away so long, I forgot what it was like having you around.  
  
The intensity of his expression dulled momentarily.  
  
It brings out the protective older brother instincts in me... he said, his lips quirking upwards in a self-mocking smile. But I can't protect you anymore, can I?  
  
Shion shook her head slowly. I don't need to be protected.  
  
Jin nodded reluctantly. No, you certainly don't. Allen has been telling me stories.  
  
You mean he's been tattling on me?  
  
Jin's soft laughter quickly faded into silence. Conversation suddenly stilled until the sound of an engine approaching the house brought Jin to the window. He recognized the vehicle at once.  
  
Gaignun's back.  
  
Jin watched him emerge from the car and look up towards the window. Their eyes locked for a split second. A look of understanding passed between the two of them. There was something in Gaignun's expression as he looked away that made Jin wonder.  
  
Allen and Momo were next to exit the vehicle. The looks on their faces seemed to confirm Jin's suspicions. Gaignun had come through for them, as promised. As the Director of the Kukai Foundation, his influence was exactly what they needed to clear away some of the roadblocks in their search.  
  
Does it look like good or bad news? Shion asked.  
  
Jin's smile was bittersweet. Looks like he might have something. Whether it's good or bad... I can't tell.  
  
But at least he has something, she said, looking down at her hands.  
  
Jin nodded in agreement, but, inwardly, he felt that they desperately needed some good news. He didn't know how much more disappointment they could take.  
  
Gaignun strolled in through the door a moment later. His quick visit to Representative Helmer's office on the way back from a business trip was solely for Shion's benefit and Shion, although grateful, was a bit baffled by his generosity. First, he had insisted that they stay with him as his guests. Then, he had given them access to Kukai's databanks and all the information they had accumulated during the Miltian Conflict. And now... what other favour would Shion end up owing him?  
  
Shion's attention drifted to Allen and Momo as they entered the library behind Gaignun. Lately, the only thing that could break the tense mood was Momo's cheerful chatter, but presently, she was standing next to Allen silently with her head bowed. Her silence was a sure sign that something was wrong.  
  
What is it? Shion asked, the anxiety growing with each passing moment.  
  
Some... unfortunate news... no, it's not related to you, Gaignun answered, quick to put her mind at ease. He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and produced a small plastic case with data chip inside. This, however, _is_ related to you.  
  
Gaignun set the case down on the table and slid it towards her.  
  
It's a recording--a video feed I managed secure from the Subcommittee's databanks-- along with some case files that Mizrahi was working on at the time your mother was staying at the facility.  
  
Gaignun straightened and looked out the window at the gleaming bay beyond the rows of trees that lined his property. His voice sounded far away when he spoke again.  
  
Shion... have you ever wondered about the possibility that it was Mizrahi and the facility that brought you and your father together?  
  
Shion bit her lip to keep the gasp from escaping. She had never considered the possibility, but now that Gaignun had suggested it, she wondered why it never occurred to her. Mizrahi was a strange, mysterious figure who seemed to crop up again and again, but she had never given him much thought. She had always assumed his rare appearances in her life were merely coincidental.   
  
It's just a thought, Gaignun continued. Have a look at that footage. I don't know if there's anything useful...   
  
His words trailed off and his eyes strayed once again to the window. For the first time, Shion thought that Gaignun seemed unsure and even a little lost. She followed his gaze outside.  
  
A view of the sky stretched out in all directions, a muted, artificial blue that reflected no sense of warmth or cheerfulness. Only a sense of loss. The unobstructed view of the skyline meant the absence of the Durandal. Gaignun's mouth was pressed into a thin line. When he spoke again, his words sounded more abrupt than he intended.  
  
I will be staying in town for the next few days. You can reach me there if you need anything. Without further explanation, he straightened and turned to leave. He was definitely not the cool and collected Master Gaignun they were used to seeing.  
  
Shion reached for the disk he had placed on the table in front of her. Her mind was still swirling from all the things he had done for them. As Gaignun walked past Momo, Shion saw his hand drop to her shoulder before falling to his side. Momo's face remained fixed on the ground. The silent exchange between them sounded warning bells in Shion's head. Gaignun was halfway out the door when her thoughts cleared and she recovered the use of her voice.  
  
Just a minute! she called out. What is going on? Something's happened, hasn't it?  
  
Momo's head snapped up. Her eyes were wide with worry. Gaignun paused just outside the door, looking over his shoulder at them.  
  
I'm taking care of it, he answered.  
  
Of what? What aren't you telling us?  
  
said Momo suddenly, biting her lip in regret for having spoken. Allen reached out and patted her shoulder reassuringly.  
  
Shion looked at them in confusion before turning towards Gaignun.  
  
Jr. has disappeared, he answered without looking at her.  
  
What do you mean _disappeared_? asked Shion, rising halfway out of her chair.  
  
I received a report from the Durandal a short while ago... He and Mary went to the Graveyard colony to do some investigating, but he never showed up at the rendezvous point. All the Observational Realians onboard scoured the surface for hours... there's no sign of him.  
  
Shion could see a crack form in his calm facade. She slumped back into her seat, stunned by the discovery. Gaignun was worried and that was no a small thing. Suddenly, her problems didn't seem so important.  
  
What are you going to do? she asked.  
  
I don't know, he admitted. Until I learn more... there's nothing I can do but wait. Don't worry. I'm sure he'll pop up somewhere.  
  
Gaignun tipped his head at them and went on his way with more urgency than expected from someone who's advice was _not _to worry. Without a word, Momo left the room, seemingly unaware of the stares her silence had drawn.  
  
This is not good, said Allen, looking after them. Poor Momo...  
  
Jin nodded in agreement.  
  
Shion looked down at the data chip in her hands.  
  
_What?_ She wondered to herself. _What should I do? Jr.'s in trouble. I can feel it. And Momo... I can't just sit here and ignore this.  
  
_Shion put the chip aside and got to her feet.  
  
said her brother, confused by her actions.  
  
We've got to find Jr.  
  
But what about that data? asked Allen.  
  
It can wait. Do you think I would be that selfish? she asked, a bit hurt. We have to help Gaignun find Jr. It's all right. I've been waiting this long to find out where I came from. A little while longer isn't going to hurt me.  
  
Allen whispered, hanging his head. Strands of hair fell in front of his eyes, hiding his expression from view. Thank goodness, Allen thought, overcome by relief. _Thank goodness._ This sounded more like the Shion he knew.  
  
What do we do, then? asked Jin.  
  
Well, first things first. We go after Momo. I'm sure that girl is halfway to the dock by now. She's probably hoping to hijack a ship to the Graveyard colony.  
  
Jin's lips quirked despite the seriousness of the situation. Yes, that sounded like Momo, all right.  
  
We better hurry.  
  


=====

Shion jogged down the walkway, passing ship after ship without spotting Momo. Her Connection Gear began beeping suddenly. It was Allen.  
  
Any sign of her?  
  
No. I'm heading to the transport trailers now, she replied.  
  
OK. I'll track down Jin. Maybe he's had better luck.  
  
All right.  
  
Shion closed the screen and hurried through the crowd. As she turned the last corner, she found herself at the edge of the market district. The lane was lined with vendors selling all sorts of crafts and confections, but the market's peek hours had long since passed and the crowds were thinning. A cloud seemed to pass overhead. The weather was shifting.  
  
_No..._  
  
Her eyes widened in disbelief.  
  
_Not now.  
_  
A gentle rain began to fall. It was nothing more than a light mist at first, but it made her immediately apprehensive. Before long, her hair and clothes were dripping wet. She hurried towards the nearest shop and ducked under an awning, feeling the dampness already begin to dry. She was glad the weather system produced fairly mild storms. The thought of standing there under a downpour, with thunder and lightening overhead, filled her with panic.   
  
It was only rain, Shion reminded herself. Shion could almost appreciate the quiet beauty of the moment. The soft putter of rain pelted the pavement, beating out a gentle melody she could almost hear. Light slanted down between the buildings, diffused and muted, lending a soft glow to the scene. A mist drifted along the ground, enveloping stray figures still scurrying home. The rain was harmless. It was beneath the surface where the real storm brewed.  
  
A dark memory curled like tentacles around her heart. In the stillness of the moment, Shion remembered sights and scents with vivid clarity... things she hadn't thought about since the funeral. She could still smell the wet earth under her and feel the cold rain seeping through her clothes. She could hear her pitiful sobs as she knelt in front of Kevin's tombstone.  
  
A strange presence pulled at her, drawing her attention towards the far end of the lane. Shion lifted her head and squinted into the rising mist. A shadow was approaching. It was a man. He was nothing more than a muddled, grey shape, but there was something familiar about him. Shion's heart began to race. Was he coming towards her? She stepped back against the building, suddenly wanting to hide.  
  
When he was close enough that Shion could pick out the details of his clothing, he stopped in the middle of the lane and lifted his head in her direction. Half his face remained hidden in shadows beneath the heavy hood of his coat, but she felt his stare as if there were no barriers between them.  
  
The rain was now a light drizzle. The mist seemed to roll back into the grey shadows, leaving the man standing in full view. Shion's brows drew together in confusion. She felt compelled to meet him and against her better judgment, she stepped out from under the awning and hesitantly walked over to where he was standing. When she was a few feet from him, she paused, overcome by the same sense of familiarity that she felt before.  
  
I... I _know_ you, she stammered.  
  
The stranger remained unmoved.  
  
What do you want?  
  
With two long strides he was within arm's reach. Shion stumbled backwards, alarmed by the sudden nearness of his presence.  
  
A warning, he said, grabbing her wrist and jerking her even closer. Leave the dead buried.  
  
Shion's eyes widened, but not at his words. The touch of his hand on her wrist sparked an unexpected memory. She gasped and froze on the spot. How was it possible? she wondered. That memory. It was not her own.  
  
Shion lifted her eyes, but she was unable to look further than his frowning lips.  
  
Who... are you? she asked, feeling faint.   
  
The strength in her legs left her. She reached out blindly as the ground beneath her feet tilted. The pavement sped towards her. Instead of a bruising fall, she felt herself being gently lowered.  
  
  
  
She looked up at the blurry face that drifted above her.  
  
It's you, she whispered, reaching up to touch his face.  
  
The boy from the lab.  
  
His hand closed around hers.  
  
Another spark.  
  
A memory that didn't belong to her.  
  
Shion smiled, letting the images flood her senses.  
  
I finally found you...

* * *

A/N:  
Woah! Long time, no see. Between bingeing on anime, work and putting together a website, I've had zero time to work on this story, but don't worry, I will find time!  
believe it or not, there's about 3 chapters left. I've finished writing the chapter summaries and will wrap everything up soon.  
Next chapter: it was raining when he died. It was raining when he returned, but will Shion make the connection? Was he just a vision or was he real? 


	11. Obsessions

Chapter Nine: Obsessions  
  
The lights on the board blinked rapidly as data streamed into the system. Several screens opened, displaying the information. At the top of the main screen was the word: Model-1. Suddenly, the computer's toneless voice filled the room.  
  
ANIMATION PROCESS PROGRESSING WITHIN NORMAL PARAMETERS.   
  
Slowly and cautiously, awareness began to shape the world. Threads of consciousness laced through a void, weaving what would become the fabric of the soul. This was the mapping of the human spirit. This was Creation, the power of God in the hands of mere mortals.  
  
Suspended in fluid in the center of the glass womb was a Realian. The first of its kind. The result of a lifetime of research into the mysteries of the universe... research that was the obsession of one man. Joachim Mizrahi. Brilliant scientist. Visionary. A leader in his field and a well-respected doctor. He was a saviour to some. To others, a madman. Another Frankenstein trying to reach beyond the limitations of humanity. Trying to touch the divine without ascending to heaven.  
  
As the doctor monitored the Realian's life signs from across the room, a boy of twelve stood before the chamber, transfixed by the expression on the Realian's face. It was his first time witnessing the animation process used to breathe life into an otherwise empty shell. He was struck by how real the Realian appeared. She seemed like a real human child, not something synthesized from organic materials.  
  
A shiver of anticipation ran down his spine as he watched her sleeping face. She looked so peaceful. So tiny and fragile. He grew excited thinking about the moment when she would finally open her eyes. What would he say to her, he wondered. What would his first words be to a pure and innocent being? He amused himself by thinking that she was an angel they accidentally lured away from another realm and was now bound by the flesh to their world.  
  
A voice disturbed him from his daydream. He turned around to see his mentor flash him an annoyed look and ducked his head in embarrassment. He hadn't mean to get distracted from his work.  
  
You're my assistant, aren't you? asked the doctor gruffly.   
  
The boy jumped slightly and nodded.  
  
Well, then, get over to the computer and _assist_ me!  
  
Yes, sir! he replied, scurrying to his computer station.  
  
Begin integrating the Y-data, the doctor ordered.  
  
Yes, sir. Beginning integration of Y-data now. Estimated time till completion: 23 hours, 12 minutes and 15 seconds.  
  
Good. Keep monitoring. I want to be notified about even the slightest fluctuation in her vital signs. This is the most advanced Realian I've ever created. Although she may be able to handle physical stress better than you or I, her psyche is as fragile as glass. One slip and her mind will shatter. There is no recovering from such a mistake. Results that are less than perfect are unacceptable. Do you understand?  
  
Yes, doctor.  
  
Mizrahi wandered from his station to the glass chamber in the center of the room and peered long and hard at the sleeping form. The boy watched him out of the corner of his eye, both intimidated and fascinated by the older man.  
  
Have I done it? he heard the doctor ask in hushed tones. Have I found the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe?  
  
Mizrahi stepped back and took in the full scale of what he was trying to accomplish. He was in a contemplative mood at the moment. The solemn expression on his face made him appear years older than he actually was, but there was a shrewd intelligence in his unwavering stare that did not dull.  
  
In a heartbeat, the look in those eyes could turn from cool and composed to intense and feverish. Even his wife never truly felt comfortable in his presence. He was an idealistic man, full of optimism and a crushing conviction that what he was doing was for the good of humankind. Suddenly, he spoke, in a deep, resonant voice that he often used to inspire and sway non-believers to his cause.  
  
The life in this world flows like stagnant waters, he began. The passage of time has weakened our spirits. We were once a proud and noble species, masters of God's living creatures and the keepers of paradise, but the genetic code which separated us from the animals has been diluted through the millennia. Now we are just like them, guided by the instinct to survive, to perpetuate the species... even when the womb of our species is barren and can no longer carry the seeds of our kind. We've been trying to extend the boundaries of our existence by creating artificial life forms in our image... but our efforts are the last, desperate acts of fools who know the end is near. We _cannot_ endure without a new source of power to sustain us. The human civilization _will_ come to an end unless we find the key.  
  
Mizrahi paused and faced his assistant. There was a hard edge to his voice when he spoke again. It was the conviction of his actions that he was trying to convey to the boy who was still too young to understand mortality and the complex nature of the universe around him.  
  
The answer lies in the soul, he stated in a tone which left no room for argument. I've spent my entire life trying to discern the composition of the soul. I've glimpsed only a fraction of real truth through the eyes of the unfettered mind, both human and Realian. The patients in the facility who come to me looking for a cure... if only they knew what a _gift_ it was to see what they see.... Their eyes... are windows into a higher plane. They can see beyond the fabric of our existence because their minds aren't tied to our world. This unseen universe... _this_ is where we will find the soul. Yes, it's _real_. The soul is _living_ energy in it's purest form.  
  
Mizrahi smiled, baring a row of white teeth like a wolf about to pounce on his prey.  
  
Everyone else has failed to re-vitalize the human species. Do you know why?  
  
The boy shook his head, a little afraid of the predatory look on his mentor's face.  
  
It's because they're trying to rebuild the human form through physical means. Genetics is not the answer. This is why I will succeed where everyone has failed. How can you fortify the body when the spirit is weak? It's the spirit that _drives_ the body. I am going to introduce this pure, living energy into the human species. This is what is going to sustain humankind in the future. Then, we will become a proud and noble race once again.  
  
He took a step around the glass chamber and looked up into the child's face.  
  
Will you lead us to into the future, my dear? Will you be the Eve of the new human race... the daughter of angels and men...   
  
He touched the glass lightly before folding his hands behind his back and walking away with the rest of his thoughts unspoken. Before he disappeared out the door, the boy noticed a smile on the doctor's face. It was the first time he had ever seen Mizrahi genuinely happy, but he supposed the doctor had good reason to feel a little satisfied at the moment. After years of painstaking research, he was less than 24 hours away from being vindicated. Everyone who had laughed at him and called his theories crazy would have to admit they were wrong.  
  
Despite the brilliance of Mizrahi's research, the boy felt uneasy about the end results of their experiment. Although he was only twelve, he was a genius in his own right. Yet, many of the things the doctor had said made little sense to him.  
  
Perhaps, he was too young to understand and maybe his own ideas about the Realian were a little naive, but he could not see her as the saviour of humankind. He had no doubt that she was special... that she was alive and had a soul, but what Mizrahi intended for her seemed like a wild dream to him. One that could not possibly come true.  
  
Making a face, the boy tried to push all worries out of his mind. He tilted his head and stared at the floating form in front of him.  
  
_Tomorrow you will wake up. What do I say to you? Hello? How are you? What will be the first thought you have when you open your eyes? I can't wait to meet you... Shion._  
  


=====

A high-pitched alarm sounded in the lab. Moments later, the boy stumbled in through the doors. His eyes were still heavy with sleep as he rushed to a computer, but he quickly forced his mind to focus on what had triggered the alarm. On the main screen hovering in front of him was a display of Model-1's cerebral cortex. Flashes of red highlighted several regions of her brain. Just when he was about to call the doctor, Mizrahi ran into the lab, hollering.  
  
What is it! What's happened?  
  
I don't know, the boy replied.  
  
The doctor rushed over and pushed him aside.  
  
I don't understand. She's not accepting the data. He pounded the control panel angrily. Why! Why is this happening? he growled.  
  
said the boy, getting nervous. His eyes were glued to the second screen. She's minutes away from collapsing. Her entire system will shut down if we don't do something.  
  
snapped Mizrahi. She rejected the data. Her system is dysfunctional. What good is she to me now?  
  
But doctor--  
  
Mizrahi moaned, slumping into a chair and running his hands through his hair. Why? The conditions were all perfect...  
  
Doctor! She will _die _if we don't_--_  
  
  
  
The boy bit his lip. His eyes nearly bulged from their sockets in anger. The computer's voice suddenly sounded overhead, interrupting their argument.  
  
WARNING. SYSTEM CRASH IN 3 MINUTES AND 14 SECONDS. DAMAGE TO THE CEREBRAL CORTEX IS IRREVERSIBLE AFTER THIS POINT.  
  
Without a second thought, the boy reached over and called up several screens.  
  
What the hell do you think you're doing! Mizrahi yelled, rising out of the chair to loom over his assistant.  
  
I'm saving her! shouted the boy, keying in commands to disengage the program from the Realian's system.  
  
he hissed.  
  
I don't care! cried the boy, clenching his fist on the control panel. I want to save her!  
  
Mizrahi stared at his assistant in complete and utter bewilderment. It was not like the boy to go against his orders and throw out all reasoning. The logical step when an experiment failed was to abort and try again. Tears began forming in the corners of the boy's eyes as he stood defiantly in front of his mentor. His lip curled in disdain.  
  
Fine. Do what you want, he answered, turning his back to the boy. But you will have to deal with the consequences alone.  
  
Thank you, doctor!  
  
He snorted and watched silently as the boy worked furiously to shut down each link that connected the Realian's mind to their computer system. Secretly, he didn't believe the boy could pull it off and hoped the failure would teach him a valuable lesson.  
  
Tense seconds ticked by. The computer continued to countdown the minutes. The alarm continued to beep. He stood by, unmoved by the frantic struggles of his assistant.  
  
Suddenly, the alarm stopped beeping. A silence filled the room. The doctor looked down at the boy, his expression revealing nothing. His assistant was bowed over the control panel, his small chest heaving and his eyes shut tight. Unshed tears still clung to his dark lashes.  
  
Mizrahi looked at the main screen and snorted. The display was normal. All traces of red had been successfully removed.  
  
Looks like you did it, he said, sighing heavily. he muttered before turning away and leaving the lab.  
  
After hearing the doors close, the boy opened his eyes and lifted his head. The Realian was still floating in her glass cage as if nothing had happened. He let out a long sigh and fell back into a chair.  
  
I'm glad, he said, resting his forehead on the desk top and closing his eyes. You're all right.  
  


=====

He looked down into the maintenance bed and sighed. Shion was functioning independently from their computer system now, but she had yet to open her eyes. It had been days since he moved her from the animation chamber... days since she showed any sign of life. Was he wrong? Was he wrong to save her? Would she spend the rest of her life in this state? It was a horrible thought, one which Mizrahi would never let him forget. Every time he came to the lab to check up on her, the doctor would remind him of how foolish he was.  
  
They had gone over the experiment with a fine tooth comb, but there were no explanations as to why she had refused the data they were downloading into her system. The Y-data was incomplete and there was no way to re-establish the connection and continue the download.  
  
He sighed again as he checked Shion's vital signs. Everything seemed normal. Guilt gnawed at him. Maybe he should have listened to the doctor. Just when he was beginning to lose hope, he noticed her lips twitch. A smile spread across his face.  
  
Hello. Hello, can you hear me?  
  
Another twitch. Was it just a reaction of her nervous system, or could she really understand him?  
  
I don't know what's going to happen, but I'll take care of you, Shion.  
  
There was no further response.  
  
He sighed and pressed a switch next to him, shutting the panel over the maintenance bed. He would return tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and the next day after that. The doctor was wrong to abandon her. She would wake up one day. He was sure of it.  
  


=====

He stood in the hallway, leaning against the wall and listening to the low voices coming from inside the office. A moment later, a tall man dressed neatly in a blue suit walked out. The identification tag on his jacket was government issue. Startled dark eyes looked down at him.  
  
Excuse me, said the man. I didn't see you there.  
  
The man nodded and stepped past him, continuing on his way down the hall and around the corner. There was a peaceful expression on his face and his steps were light as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.  
  
Ah, the doctor has been waiting for those.  
  
He turned to face the woman in the doorway, handing his data tablet to her.  
  
Who was that man?  
  
You mean, Mr. Uzuki? His wife was just transferred to the facility.  
  
He looked away in surprise. Another patient? That was the second transfer they had received that week.  
  
What's wrong? You look a little down today.  
  
It's nothing, Feb. I'm a little tired, is all.  
  
How... is she?  
  
No change.  
  
Maybe tomorrow.  
  
he answered, smiling and waving good bye. I'll be in the lab...  
  
Please get some rest, called Febronia from the doorway.  
  
He gave her a careless nod and went on his way. Mr. Uzuki was forgotten until he began to see the man almost every day at the facility. From Febronia, he discovered that Uzuki's wife was in the intermediate stages of an unknown neurological disease. The doctor had placed her in the highest level care unit with the other patients in her condition. Febronia seemed to have a soft spot for the gentleman, which prompted him to ask why she felt so much sympathy for Uzuki and not the others.  
  
_I feel sorry for him, because I can see in his eyes how much he loves his wife. He's here every day until visiting hours are over. The poor man... he will never give up until she is well again.  
  
_He remembered her words with a sad smile and hoped that Uzuki's wife would get well, but from what he had seen of Mizrahi's research, the likelihood of that happening was slim to none. The thought depressed him. Was he just like Uzuki? Was he waiting for Shion to wake up when there was very little hope?  
  


=====

He hurried to the office and paused, waiting impatiently for the doors to slide open. Febronia stood in the entrance before him, surprised at his appearance. She also seemed in a hurry to be somewhere.  
  
Where's the doctor?  
  
I'm heading there now, she replied.  
  
I just got your message. Is it serious?  
  
Febronia remained silent, brushing past him and leading the way.  
  
  
  
She is his only child, was all the Realian had to say.  
  
They rushed through the halls, turning the corner and continuing towards the elevators. The boy flashed the Realian a confused look.  
  
This is the way to the lab, he said.  
  
She nodded. He took her there... to keep her close...  
  
When they finally reached the lab, they found Mizrahi standing over a bed that had been wheeled in. They approached the bed warily, careful not to disturb the doctor from his thoughts. Mizrahi had barely moved since they spotted him. They both knew his volatile nature and didn't wish to be caught in the path of his anger, so they remained silent.  
  
As they drew closer, they could see a small figure lying on the bed. Looking past the doctor, they could see the girl's pale face. Her dark eyes seemed to soak up all the warmth in the room. They had seen that expression many times before, but the affect of seeing it now on _her_ face shocked them into speechlessness.  
  
Sakura Mizrahi. Would she end up like the other patients in the facility? Would she slowly lose herself to darkness and become nothing more than a shell? Suddenly, the doctor lifted his head and looked in their direction.  
  
Bleary eyes full of resentment pinned them to the spot. Mizrahi hollered at them to leave him alone. They flinched and hesitated. Mizrahi shouted again. Febronia tugged at the boy's elbow, urging them to leave the lab. As they went, they could hear the doctor's wretched wails fill the room and fade away as the doors closed behind them.  
  
What will you do, asked Febronia.  
  
The boy crossed his arms in front of him and leaned against the wall.  
  
This is not good, Feb. Not good at all. He's lost it. I have to find a way to get Shion out of here. I don't know what the doctor will do...  
  
She nodded. I may have an idea...  
  


=====

He looked down at the girl's face. She opened her eyes. Clear green orbs sparkled back at him.  
  
You're finally awake. It's time... for you to join the real world. I think you know there's a place for you now. You were just waiting, weren't you? Until everything was ready. I promised I would take care of you, Shion... I found you a home. You'll have your own family to look after you now. I can't... I can't be with you all the time, but I'll still watch out for you...  
  
He stood back and hung his head.  
  
  
  
The Realian nodded at his side.  
  
This is Febronia. She'll take you to your new home.  
  
He watched the Realian step forward and brush the hair out of the girl's eyes. Once he was satisfied that she would be all right in Febronia's care, he turned to leave. At the door, he paused and looked over his shoulder.  
  
Be happy, Shion.  
  
_One day, we will meet again._  
  


=====

The logo on the door belonged to Vector Industries. He smiled and shook his head, still amused to find himself working there. The doors slid open as he approached and several people greeted him.  
  
someone shouted behind him. He turned around. The new lab assistant is waiting in your office. He nodded and passed the maintenance bed in the center of the room, pausing to touch the closed panel and say good morning as he always did each day. If any of his employees thought it strange, they said nothing.  
  
She was sitting in front of his desk with her back to him when he entered. The sound of the doors brought her attention around. She turned her head and their eyes met. Clear and green. Just as he remembered. She stood and extended her hand.  
  
Shion Uzuki, she said, smiling warmly. He took her hand and shook, marveling at how soft her skin felt.  
  
I know who you are, he replied, feeling a smile tug at his lips. I know all about you, Shion.  
  
She tilted her head in confusion. His smile widened.  
  
I was the one who recommended you for this project.  
  
she said, a little surprised.  
  
Welcome to Vector. My name is Kevin...

* * *

A/N:  
next chapter: Shion finally remembers everything, but what does that mean for the people around her? 


	12. Eyes Open

Chapter Ten: Eyes Open  
  
She was standing in a garden. Shion closed her eyes as a soft breeze lifted the ends of her hair and tickled her nose with the scent of jasmine. She could hear a lonely tune carried in the wind, but the melody trailed away, vanishing into the night before she could grasp it and keep it safe in her memory.  
  
The stars in the night sky seemed to spill onto the horizon. Shion stretched out her hand and closed her fist around the brightest star she could find, almost believing that heaven was within reach. Smiling, she dropped her hand and looked around at the sleepy landscape. Her attention drifted, falling upon the swaying branches, the wisps of cotton-like seeds blowing in the breeze, the fireflies weaving through the murky blackness.  
  
Someone took hold of her hand and spun her around. The world swirled before her eyes until she came to an abrupt stop against a solid body. Shion relaxed into the embrace, drawn to a warmth that melted the restraints around her heart. She was safe. She was loved. She leaned forward and rested her head on a broad shoulder, forgetting...  
  
What was it that she was forgetting?  
  
A nudge under her chin. She looked up into laughing, blue eyes.  
  
_Kevin._  
  
Darkness crept into his smile.  
  
What are you thinking? he asked. You seemed so far away just now.  
  
She shook her head and buried her face in his chest, breathing in the musky scent of his cologne... and something else... she thought that she could smell rain.  
  
I feel like... I've been living in a dream, she said and felt his chest shake with laughter.  
  
I hope it's a good dream.  
  
No... it wasn't. Because... you weren't in it.  
  
I wasn't? Then, it was a bad dream, indeed, he teased.  
  
It was horrible... You were dead.  
  
  
  
Yes... I watched you die.  
  
That _is_ horrible.  
  
Not as horrible as being left alone...  
  
It's a good thing that it was only a dream.  
  
  
  
  
  
I... miss this.  
  
  
  
Being with you.  
  
Have we been apart?  
  
I... I'm not sure...  
  
You're important to me, Shion. I would never leave you.  
  
Am I really? Important to you?  
  
  
  
She turned her head to the side, blushing.  
  
You've never said that before.  
  
I'm saying it now.  
  
I always felt there was something... from the first time I saw you... I felt like I knew you from another life. Does that sound silly?  
  
No, not at all.  
  
Can we stay this way forever?  
  
Is that what you want?  
  
She looked up into his face, brow creasing with worry. There was something nagging at the back of her mind, but she dismissed it and nodded. The look in his eyes softened.  
  
I'll make you forget, Shion... all the sadness in your life...  
  
She shook her head.  
  
I just... want you to hold me... like this. That's all I need.  
  
His lips twisted into a sad smile. He shook his head at her, laughing silently.  
  
You were always so easy to please.  
  
Shion slid her hands around his waist and held him tight.  
  
she wondered out loud. Why do I feel like I'm losing you.  
  
Pulling away, she looked up into his blue eyes and saw a shadow fall across his face.  
  
Or... is it... that I'm losing something else...  
  
But the shadow was passing. Everything was suddenly all right again. She let out a self-conscious laugh.  
  
I'm being foolish.  
  
Shion leaned back against him and let out a contented sigh as his hand smoothed the hair away from her face.  
  
I only want to protect you, he whispered.  
  
She smiled. I know.  
  
Do you?  
  
Shion nodded. His fingers trailed down the side of her face, catching her chin and forcing her eyes to meet his.  
  
I hope... you will be able to forgive me someday.  
  
There was a strange feeling like an iron curtain falling over her mind, weighing down her thoughts. Shion felt as if she were drowning. She was retreating further and further into herself, sinking into the fathomless blue pools of his eyes. Suddenly, an image flickered in the depths of the pool. A reflection like a blue flame. His eyes darted to the approaching figure behind her.  
  
The invisible fingers gripping her mind seemed to withdraw and with them went the feeling of security. It was only a dream. A beautiful, fading dream. She was trapped in an illusion, but, somehow, she didn't care. Shion closed her eyes, clinging to the warmth of Kevin's memory, wishing that it wouldn't fade in the growing awareness.  
  
So... you were here all along, said Kevin.  
  
Shion's eyes flew open as she remembered that they were no longer alone. Her fingers tightened on his shirt, sensing a growing separation. She was annoyed by the interruption and wished whoever it was would go away.  
  
How perfect, Kevin continued, pleasantly surprised. I never expected to meet you here. Can it be... you feel the need to protect her from me? I feel a sense of irony in this moment, he chuckled. I once protected her from you... but there's no harm being done here... I would _never_ hurt her. If anyone should know that, it's you.  
  
Then let her go, said a woman's voice.  
  
Shion tensed. She _knew_ that voice, but it sounded... _different._  
  
Is it _his_ will? Kevin asked.  
  
It is... my duty.  
  
I see, he replied. You won't allow me to take these memories from her.  
  
She will be incomplete.  
  
She will remember that I was here.  
  
That was your mistake.  
  
Kevin's laughter filled Shion's ears. Yes, it was, wasn't it? And I'm sure I will pay for my mistake. I only wanted to warn her...  
  
Silence.  
  
I always knew it was possible... he said quietly, changing the subject. Now I have proof... because you're standing in front of me. I can see it in your eyes that you understand these memories... that you _feel_ them... I tried to give this to you before, but I failed. It was Shion... it was _always_ Shion that you needed... not me. I see that now. She was the only one who could be your guide.  
  
Shion tilted her head and saw a wistful smile spread across his face. Looking past her, he continued to speak to the woman who's presence radiated such confidence that it made her uncomfortably aware of her own weaknesses.  
  
Perhaps, one day, you'll be made whole... like her. I can only hope...  
  
The intensity in Kevin's eyes made Shion nervous. He smiled at the woman before turning his attention to her once again. Shion's eyes widened as his face neared hers.  
  
What am I feeling? Is it regret?  
  
She jumped in surprise as his lips lightly brushed against hers, but the kiss was over before her senses could properly register it. He took her hands from his shirt and placed them at her sides before stepping backwards into the shadows.  
  
I must leave you for now. Shion... remember my words... We will meet again on the field of battle. I wonder, will you be prepared to accept your fate then?  
  
Kevin smiled one last time before vanishing completely from sight.  
  
Shion called, running after him. Don't leave...  
  
She reached out to him, but her fingers closed around air. It was no use. He was gone. Turning on her heel, Shion caught only a glimpse of the woman with whom Kevin had been speaking. She, too, was fading away. There was nothing more than a ghostly outline and two piercing blue eyes. Suddenly, the soothing tones of her voice echoed through Shion's mind.  
  
_Wake up, Shion. Open your eyes..._

=====

Shion walked towards the dock, heels clipping loudly against the hard pavement. The sound echoed the hollow beating of her heart. Her slow progression through the street was that of a pall bearer carrying the remains of a loved one. She stopped for no one. She saw nothing. The truth had blinded her.  
  
A familiar voice called her name, sounding distant and muffled as if she were standing at the bottom of a well. A hand clamped around her arm. She stared up into wide blue eyes, trembling with secret knowledge.  
  
  
  
Her mouth opened and closed without a sound.  
  
What happened?  
  
  
  
I'm taking you home right now.  
  
A hand closed around hers and tugged her along. She obeyed, feeling a sense of relief. There was no need to think for a while... no need to stimulate that part of her brain. She could just drift by, touching nothing, feeling nothing.  
  
The next thing she knew, she found herself being seated in front of a warm fire. Someone draped a heavy blanket on her shoulders. Voices rose in a chorus of anger and worry. And then all was quiet.  
  
Her head continued to fill with empty thoughts as shadows crowded her vision. Eventually, she saw only fire through a long, dark tunnel. Her mind turned away even from that.  
  
Those blue eyes were in front of her again.  
  
Words were spoken softly in her ear. Words that were cracked and broken with anguish and a more fragile emotion she refused to acknowledge. She turned away from it all until darkness consumed the world around her.  
  
A voice called to her from deep inside.  
  
_Open your eyes..._  
  
She winced and held onto the shadows, wrapping herself in a blanket of forgetfulness.  
  
_Shion..._  
  
Go away, her mind screamed.  
  
  
  
Nephilim stood before her, eyes full of ancient wisdom and sorrow.  
  
Don't be afraid, Shion. Open your eyes. Accept who you are.  
  
_Who I am... is a failed experiment._  
  
You are more than that, Shion.  
  
_I'm not the saviour Dr. Mizrahi believed in._  
  
Nephilim agreed. You were never meant to save the human race.  
  
_But, isn't that why I was created?_  
  
Perhaps, but that is not your destiny. It is the future of Realians that you hold in your hands. You are the beginning. The first born. The miracle child, risen out of the ashes of a dead race. Your daughters will carry your legacy into the future.  
  
_My... daughters?_  
  
Nephilim smiled.  
  
They are already evolving. Like you, they will find a way to become whole.  
  
_Already..._  
  
But, they cannot do this without you.  
  
_KOS-MOS and Momo..._  
  
Nephilim nodded.  
  
The time is approaching when your fate, and the fates of those around you, will be decided. Accept who you are. Stand by your friends. They have already decided to stand by you. Open your eyes, Shion. Open your heart. See the hope that waits in the future. All is not lost.  
  
Nephilim smiled and faded away.  
  
Shion felt the darkness tighten and shudder around her before releasing its grip on her soul. The impenetrable blackness soon gave way to gray. There was a light. A beautiful, fragile light. It barely left a glow on the dim landscape. Shion moved closer, drawn by the need to protect it.  
  
_I can't let the light go out._  
  
Her steps quickened. She reached out her hand and as her fingers touched the fluttering light, the details of her surroundings suddenly jumped out at her. She became aware of the soft material around her shoulders, the chair gently cushioning her, the flickering flames in the fireplace. She felt the chill in her limbs and the dampness of her clothes. It was still the same day as before. How long had she been sitting there?  
  
Someone was with her.  
  
She heard a confession.  
  
Her eyes blurred.  
  
  
  
He was immediately by her side. She turned her head to look at him.  
  
How long have you been here? she asked, feeling as if she hadn't used her voice in years.  
  
A brittle smile.  
  
I haven't left your side since I found you.  
  
I remember... she said, looking away. I remember... everything.  
  
His hand closed around hers.  
  
  
  
She looked sideways at him, her eyes shining quietly with laughter.  
  
You called me Shion.  
  
Allen's eyes grew round. A light blush crept up his face. He looked down the hand resting on top of hers.  
  
I guess... he began, timidly. We've been through so much together... it was just time...  
  
Shion smiled and leaned against his shoulder. He sat rigidly next to her, unsure of how to proceed, but after the awkwardness passed, he relaxed and put an arm around her.  
  
If you hadn't found me... Shion whispered.  
  
Let's not think about it, he replied. I'm just glad that you're back. Everyone has been out of their mind with worry.  
  
She nodded and closed her eyes.  
  
Everything's all right. I was just a little... lost, but I'm fine now.  
  
What happened?  
  
She shook her head, remembering the garden... and Kevin.  
  
_Was it really him?_  
  
The ache in her chest told her that he had been there, but the logical, scientific part of her refused to believe that a man could come back from the dead. Even if it was true, what did that mean to her? She had mourned him long enough. A feeling of loneliness tugged at her heart, but she didn't want to go back to that place. She didn't want to follow a path that lead nowhere.  
  
I've been hanging onto something that wasn't real, she said softly. But it's over now... that dream... is over.  
  
She curled into his side, burying her face in his shoulder.  
  
  
  
  
  
I heard what you said... before... I've always known that you cared about me, but... I'm just not capable of...  
  
Her words drifted off. Why did she find it so hard to say what was necessary? Shion hated hurting him, but there was no other choice... now that she knew exactly what she was... there was no future for them. She took a deep breath and gathered her courage before speaking again.  
  
You should find someone else. Someone who will make you happy. I can't... be that person...  
  
Silence.  
  
His arm fell away.  
  
Allen, please, say something.  
  
She sat back and looked up at him, feeling her stomach twist at the expression on his face.  
  
I understand, he said quietly.  
  
He got up slowly and turned his back to her.  
  
  
  
Suddenly, he turned around. Shion managed not to wince, but the smile on his face was painful to watch.  
  
It doesn't change anything.  
  
  
  
The soft rush of air caught her attention.  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, she could see someone entering the room.  
  
Allen turned his back to her again and stared into the fire.  
  
  
  
She lifted her head to look at her brother. The worry in his eyes quickly changed to relief.  
  
It's all right now, she said. I didn't mean to scare you.  
  
Jin could only gape at her, unable to say anything. Shion let out a shaky laugh.  
  
I've been searching so hard for my past and making everyone around me miserable... I'm sorry.  
  
Jin shook his head, frowning.  
  
There's no reason to apologize. We're not here because we _have_ to be. We're here because we _want_ to be... We care about you, Shion.  
  
Her eyes darted to Allen's stiff back. The distance between them was already wide enough to fill an ocean.   
  
I know, she replied. I don't show it often enough, but I'm glad that I have you _both_ in my life.  
  
She noticed Allen's shoulders relax and let out a sigh. He would get over her sooner or later. He was a lot tougher than he appeared. Shion looked down at her lap, feeling a sense of regret for all the things she could never have.  
  
We should let you get some rest, said Jin.  
  
Shion nodded and watched the two of them cross the room together. As they were about to walk out the door, she called them back, remembering something.  
  
About Momo... she said.  
  
Jin hesitated. Momo is...  
  
Shion finished, smiling sadly.  
  
Did Allen already tell you? he asked in surprise.  
  
She shook her head. I had a feeling.  
  
Don't worry about it now, her brother said. Just get some rest. We'll deal with it later.  
  
The door closed behind them, leaving her alone with her thoughts. Shion listened to the silence for a while, thinking about Momo. She couldn't explain how, but she had felt the girl's absence.  
  
Shion leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes, realizing that she had always been able to sense these things. She thought it was nothing more than a strong sense of intuition. Now, she knew it was because they were all connected. Momo... KOS-MOS... the Realians she worked with... even those she didn't know, who passed by her on the street.  
  
Shion wondered how Nephilim could have so much confidence in her. How could Nephilim count on her to make the right decisions for others when she could barely make decisions for herself.  
  
Hope.  
  
All she had to rely on was hope.  
  
Shion remembered touching that fragile light just before waking. She remembered that she had chosen to carry it within her. Whether or not she fulfilled her destiny, she would keep that fragile flame burning in her heart. For the future.  
  
A deep sense of sadness filled her. She felt as if she was saying good bye to her old life, but she could never be the same woman she once was. Shion thought about her brother and Allen with regret. In the morning, she would tell them everything and leave them to handle the truth on their own. She had to go after Momo. It was a mother's instinct to protect her children, after all.

* * *

A/N:  
Hehe. I'm so cruel to Allen.  
I'm going with the theory that Kevin is the man in red working for Wilhelm--yup that's what he's been up to since his . I didn't really flesh out his character, but that was on purpose.  
Who is the woman protecting Shion? Well, ain't it obvious? ;)  
Next: Awakenings. (End of Shion's journey of self-discovery... leading into Momo/Jr. fic) 


	13. See With Your Heart

Chapter Eleven: See with Your Heart  
  
Shion watched the emotions play across her brother's face. Guilt and anger flashed in his dark eyes as he listened to her sad tale, but it was his sympathy that made her words more difficult to say. He looked as if he had a million questions he wanted to ask, but to his credit, he remained silent, letting her finish without interruption.  
  
Allen sat at the end of the room, nothing more than a silent witness. Shion had barely looked at him since she walked in the room. The few times that she did happen to glance his way, she could hardly tell what he was thinking. He kept his thoughts carefully guarded, perhaps as a result of their conversation the day before.  
  
As painful as it was, she laid the truth before them. The Gnosis attack at the hospital. Mizrahi and the Acute Neurosis Treatment Facility. Kevin and Vector. She held nothing back except her true nature towards Momo and KOS-MOS. That was one secret she was not yet ready to reveal. She told them as much as she could, admitting that there was still a lot she didn't understand.  
  
I know it must be hard to believe. I'm not even sure how it's possible that I exist like _this _when I was once not quite... human.  
  
She ran a hand through her hair absentmindedly and was momentarily distracted by the silky texture as the strands slipped through her fingers. She had been noticing little things like this all morning. Her senses seemed suddenly heightened like she was looking at the world through a magnifying glass.  
  
Every sharp angle jutted out at her. Every sound grated on her nerves. The white walls and the brightness of the room, the hard furniture and the plush carpet beneath her feet. All these things cut into her awareness like a razor's edge.  
  
Of course, it was only her imagination. She had spent all her time staring in front of her, focused on work and duties to her job that she never noticed much around her. Now that her eyes were open, she was amazed to discover that the world was so _alive. _That _she_ was alive and a part of that world. There was a newfound strength in the way her heart beat now that she had a future to look forward to and new dreams to realize.  
  
There's this whole other side of me that I never knew about, she continued sadly. I have a _purpose_ to fulfill. Everything that has happened recently has been leading me to this point... to accept who I am. I know that now.  
  
She raised her head and looked across the room at her brother and Allen.   
  
That's why... I can no longer be the person I once was.  
  
Jin's brows fell into a straight line. Allen sat numbly, staring at a spot directly above her left shoulder. Shion sighed and let her eyes drop to the floor, knowing that her next words would bring them much pain.  
  
That's also why... you have to let me go.  
  
Silence swallowed up the room. Awkward minutes ticked by as Jin and Allen struggled to grasp the meaning behind her words. She had made up her mind and would not be dissuaded, yet when she spoke again, there was a hint of regret in her voice.  
  
You have to let me go, she repeated more gently. Her expression was more confident than it had been in a long time. This purpose... whatever it is that I'm meant to do, it's something I have to do _alone_. I can't allow anyone to get involved. It's already complicated enough without...  
  
She paused, lips twisting in a frown.  
  
I just don't want to see anyone else get hurt. I don't expect you to understand my reasons, but try to respect my decision. I'm leaving immediately to go after Momo... This will be the last time we will ever see each other.  
  
Shion turned away from them, relieved that they were too surprised to react. It made saying good bye easier. Departing company with the very people who had stood by her hadn't been an easy decision, but Shion told herself it was for the best.  
  
She had no idea what the future would bring. All she knew was that danger seemed to follow her wherever she went and she could never live with herself if Jin or Allen were injured or even killed because they felt the need to protect her.  
  
She nodded to herself, believing she had made the right decision. It was not their fight, after all. Before she lost her nerve, she rushed through an apology and hurried to the door.  
  
I won't ever forget everything the both of you have done for me, but this is the way it has to be. I'm sorry.  
  
Without waiting for a response, she left the room, not even sparing one last glance at the two people who had come to mean so much to her. She knew she would only see sadness in their eyes and that was not how she wanted to remember them.  
  
Shion quickly left the house, making it as far as the bottom of the front steps when a hand closed around her elbow, jerking her to a sudden stop. She spun around, surprised to find that she was followed.  
  
Allen dropped her arm and stood back, surprised by the forwardness of his own behaviour. Then, he remembered his anger and the corners of his mouth curled into a humourless smile.  
  
It's all suddenly becoming clear to me, he began. why you said those things to me yesterday... why you're leaving us now. You're cutting yourself off from us... cutting yourself off from _everything_ connected to your old life. _Why_? Why do you think you have to give up everything? Like there's no room for anything else but this burden you've chosen to carry?  
  
He sighed in frustration, turning away slightly to gather his thoughts.  
  
So what if you're destined for greater things than the rest of us? That doesn't mean you should leave your friends behind. Haven't you learned anything over the last few months? As stubborn as you are, you can't stand alone.  
  
His blue eyes softened and the edge in his voice disappeared.  
  
You don't _have_ to stand alone when you have us. And if you're worried about what we think of you now that we know about your past... we don't care about where you came from. You're still the same person to us. You're still Shion and nothing will change that.  
  
  
  
Did you really think it would be that easy to get rid of me?  
  
Shion stared down at her feet, wondering if she actually thought she could get away without a fight. As much as she believed what she was doing was in everyone's best interest, she could not deny that there was a certain amount of selfishness in her actions.  
  
I'm a part of your life, whether you want to acknowledge it or not. It's no use arguing or trying to run away. I'll just follow you.  
  
That's what I'm afraid of, she replied, shaking her head at him. I can't let you protect me forever. Are you going to fight my battles for me, too?  
  
he said calmly. I know I can't protect you. But... I can believe in you. I can give you my support. I know it's not much, but I want to stand by you. I _will_ stand by you through everything.  
  
Shion hung her head, knowing that her protests would have no effect. If anyone was more stubborn than her, it was Allen.  
  
Do you give up?  
  
  
  
Then it's settled. We'll find Momo together.  
  
I hope you two aren't planning on leaving without me, came a voice from the doorway.  
  
Shion looked past Allen to see her brother standing at the top of the stairs.  
  
she cried, giving him a pleading look. Not you, too.  
  
I don't see why I should be left out, he replied.  
  
Shion's brows drew together in a frown. A feeling of frustration and anguish churned in her stomach. Fisting her hands at her side, she turned her back to them, refusing to let them see the fear in her eyes.  
  
If you follow me, she began. If you follow me... I'll lose you. Everyone in my life... I lose them, sooner or later... I don't want that to happen with you.  
  
Is that what this is about? asked Jin. You didn't cause any of this, Shion. You just happen to be at the center of it, that's all. Keeping us away isn't going to change what's happening. We're involved, one way or another. We're all connected. Besides, I would rather face danger with the people I love, then to be safe and alone.  
  
He's absolutely right, agreed Allen. We're in this together.  
  
Shion turned to look from her brother to Allen. It was useless. With one of them she might have had a chance, but with the two of them ganging up on her, it was impossible to win. She swallowed her pride and gave a slight nod.  
  
One hour. Be ready, or I'll leave without you.  
  
Allen's face brightened. He was gone in an instant, hurrying back inside the house to pack his things. Jin smiled at her, shaking his head.  
  
she asked.  
  
I think part of you is glad things worked out this way.  
  
she snorted.  
  
Come on, you have to admit, things wouldn't be half as interesting without us.  
  
If interesting means trouble, then I could do without it, she replied.  
  
Jin's brow raised in a cool expression. Shion returned his look, and then, without warning, the corners of her mouth twitched upwards.  
  
That's better, said her brother, turning around and heading inside.  
  
Shion watched him go, fighting the urge to laugh. After all, she was supposed to be upset with them, wasn't she? Somehow, she couldn't find reason to stay angry. She lifted her eyes to the sky, feeling the warmth radiating down and touching her face.  
  
Holding her hand over her heart, she could feel the steady rhythm beneath her fingers. It was such a simple thing, but like all simple things in life, she had taken her heart for granted. All these years, she had kept that part of herself closed off and had forgotten how much she needed to feel cherished and loved, things that were necessary to the soul.  
  
Jin was right. They were all connected. Even now, she could feel his presence. She could feel them all. Everyone she cared about. Even those who were no longer living, they were still a part of her.  
  
Suddenly, her memories of the past seemed less threatening. How could she continue to feel hurt and betrayed when the whole world was in front of her. For the first time, she understood something. Life was a gift and despite the lingering darkness, she was grateful for that gift.  
  
The suffering of her parents, the loneliness she felt growing up, Kevin's meddling, and all the deaths she had witnessed... it was all important. She had to understand and accept these things because... pain was just a part of being human. Pain was one way of knowing that she was truly alive.  
  
What was that power inside her that had been unlocked when she was a child? When she held up her hands and destroyed the Gnosis in that hospital room? Her fate had been sealed from that moment on. She had ceased to become an imitation of a living, breathing being and had changed into something--_someone--_real.  
  
The world seemed a more scarier place than it had a moment ago, but now she knew she was not alone. Every life she touched and every life that touched hers... These delicate bonds, formed and broken in an instant... this was the fragile nature of the spirit.  
  
Yet, in such fleeting moments there was great power.  
  
Shion closed her eyes and held onto the realization, burning it into her mind so that she would never lose it again. She was finally complete and at peace.  
  
Somewhere on the other side of the universe, the connection is felt.  
  
Feelings pass down through tenuous links, invisible threads entwining through vast, empty space. Suffering and pain, heartache and loss, but now also love and joy, feelings of complete elation and relief. Memories drift into place and solidify into one, complete whole.  
  
A sleeping angel wakes from a dream. She opens her eyes, clear and blue like the sky on a warm summer afternoon. A smile spreads across her face as she touches her fingers to her chest, grateful for being shown the path to her heart.  
  
End.

* * *

A/N:  
Sorry for the delay. Procrastination, blah!  
Is it over??? Yup, afraid so. I left it pretty open-ended, in keeping with the idea that Shion's life is just beginning.  
Aw, Allen is a sweetie. Maybe something happens between them, maybe not. I'm not good at writing fluff so I'll leave it up to your imagination.  
Next chapter is just notes on Shion (things that raised a red flag in my mind).  
Lastly, thanks for reading. I'm kinda in shock that people have stuck it out this far. Cool


	14. Notes

Things that make you go _hmm...___****(in no particular order)  
  
Woglinde: Shion checks over the Realians, mentions something about how she got assigned to the First R&D Division being a mistake in the paperwork.  
  
Shion says she is thinking about getting transferred to the Third Division (Realian development and training) even though the First R&D Division has the best researchers and apparently, it's very difficult to get a position there.  
  
when KOS-MOS first wakes up, she immediately looks for Shion.  
  
chaos explains to everyone that his powers are something that he can just do, something that defines him and then asks Shion what defines you? but she's too caught off guard to come up with an answer.  
  
Encephalon: chaos tells Nephilim that Shion is vital to her (KOS-MOS), and Nephilim tells chaos to you, as well  
  
Shion can hear the Song and her hands glowed when Gnosis appeared (Momo's hands glowed at the same time).  
  
the whole strange stuff with Shion and KOS-MOS being part of the Y-data and the comment he really didn't want anyone going in there, did he?  
  
Wilhelm telepathically talks to Virgil, images of Shion and KOS-MOS appear, Virgil says so that's what this is all about. You're quite the cunning bastard  
  
Gaignun walks past Shion, then says No, it can't be...  
  
back when Gnosis attacked the hospital, Shion saw her parents die, but she lived to tell the tale... very intriguing.  
  
Shion doesn't die from being touched by a Gnosis and hasn't turned into one either  
  
At end of game, Nephilim tells Shion to see with her heart. Shion closes her eyes and is able to sense KOS-MOS's exact position (thus saving her from going down with Proto Merkabah)


End file.
